Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Mar 15, 2020
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
Broken
How could you live knowing you broke someone?
no, not physically. mentally but regardless this shouldn't happen to anyone.
how could you live knowing you made someone cry? you said hurtful things to them eye to eye you made someone want to DIE! and maybe you could've been nice to her, did you even try ? please don't answer that. we all know what's true. what you did was wrong but you made excuses like you didn't have a clue. your the bad guy there is no "but i" how could you do something so cruel as a matter of fact, why?
maybe I should stop with the questions cause either way she still died. there's nothing that could restore her feelings. not even something money could buy. why? cause you broke her you the bad, guy
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Gracy
5 years 6 months ago
Hi, I'm also fairly new here.
Hi, I'm also fairly new here. Welcome aboard. I think you could easily turn this into a poem, you have lots of good rhymes, but they're stuck in various places.
It's too wordy and has a few grammatical errors. I'll return with more time. I hope you work on it, because it's a great topic and deserves revising thoroughly.
m.lindsey
5 years 6 months ago
Thanks !
I'm struggling with making it into a poem. Could you maybe possibly email me or give me one of your socials so I can contact you more easily.