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Broken Doll
On my own shelf,
So far back no one can see,
The doll with the torn dress
And the ripped seams.
Who bothers with a broken toy
When prettier ones abound?
And the child who used me sits
Newer friends in the round.
If you open my dress,
A small dark stitch you will see,
Where once a little red heart
Beating fast used to be.
I was thrown down, unwanted,
And so I walked away,
Back to my gray shelf,
And sat down in the shade.
So now here I am,
Alone, watching them all.
But soon enough they'll know
What it is to be a broken doll.
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Ian.T
10 years 6 months ago
Bella
A sad story of before times, we always have these memories from some time in our lives they come and go as the snow in Winter.
They teach us caution and how to give love out and many things.
Your write is really good but sounds as if I have read it some place, Have you posted this on any site before ????
I like it, so really it matters not, take care out there.
Yours Ian.T
Bella Cicerona
10 years 6 months ago
Ian
I have entered it in a contest before, but this poem did not make it into the anthology. I don't believe I've let it out anywhere else though. Love has taught me much, but there is still so much more I do not know, and perhaps will never know. Perhaps it's better that way. Thank you for your encouragement--it means alot to me.
~Bella
Ian.T
10 years 6 months ago
Bella
Just enjoy all of the things that pass your way, it is a place of learning and to miss out on learning is a shame.
Look forward to your future writes have you joined Chrys's workshop yet on humour in poetry..
Yours Ian..
Lenny of Cohen
10 years 6 months ago
Haunting!
Powerful imagery, wonderful writing.