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CariD
CariD
Dec 16, 2016 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Broken Relationship Healing

i pray for you often
your picture is on my fridge, on my shelf, and in my heart
i must stay strong, for there is a broken world out there
i keep the pain inside but i cannot forget it or bury it
i choose not to
for, rather
this pain makes me who i am today
isn't that the point of being in this broken place
through our brokenness we better understand other's brokenness and can offer healing
yes, it defines me and the passion i have inside to bring healing to this broken ball we live on

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: Chicago area

More from this author

Comments

weirdelf

weirdelf

8 years 10 months ago

no such thing as a hobby poet [smiles]

you are a poet,
you have the passion and the need to express.

Might I suggest that you read this aloud to yourself and imagine what someone might feel hearing it?
The last two lines, especially, I'm sure you will hear, need to be broken up and expressed more concisely.

Often, most especially in poetry, less is more.

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

8 years 10 months ago

hello,

and it is very nice to meet you! I am very familiar with the heart of this story. and I agree with Jess. I give this poem 4 and 1/2 out of 5 stars :)

always, Cat

V

valene

8 years 10 months ago

Feeling the pain.....

I like your poem. I feel badly that it came about the way it did, the ending of a relationship. letting go is never easy and I'm not sure one is ever completely able to do so. The good news is you can grow from it, which I believe it what you're saying.
Long story short, what i'm getting from it, is that rather than focusing on your pain, your using the understanding you're gaining from it, to reach out and help others. You're becoming more empathic, which in the long run can be quite cathartic, for you while benefiting the 'broken world out there.' This is something we should all do!
My suggestion for the last 2 lines:
'Through our brokenness we can better understand
The suffering of others and offer healing
Yes, it defines me and my passion inside
To bring healing to this broken ball we live on.'

Just a thought on how to help the actual flow a bit!

thanks for sharing!

valene