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Dec 11, 2023
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BURIED IN SAND
The golden roman shaped shield
like a disc above glinting
Like a polished coin Punching the
Sky waking it up. The Feathered
snipered hungry cadaver eyes circling
Watching as I look above. crys of
Starvation. Below the scorching
Powdered biscuit Devils sauna pit
The air as dry as dust
My body already claimed
signed my soul over
To hell and to gold sprinkled dust
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
1 year 6 months ago
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