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Apr 05, 2011
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Burn
Terror burns like a raging fire
searing the soul,
melting all self control.
It singes and
peels back the layers,
desiccating the spirit.
Cauterize the infection,
liberate my mind.
Set me on the path to redemption.
Incarcerate and tame the devil within.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: I'm not sure about the last line, i might add another stanza.
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
magics02
14 years 3 months ago
Spot on
This is what I call a purge poem :) and it is good how one feels to express what it is inside or outside of one self. You did a good job at this and I like the line Set me on the path to redemption...good thinking makes good writing
Love
Mona
lou
14 years 3 months ago
Mona
Thank you very much.
love lou
Candlewitch
14 years 3 months ago
Dear Lou,
Terror burns like a raging fire
searing the soul,
melting all self control.
It singes and
peels back the layers,
desiccating the spirit.
Great descriptions! You really gave this one your all. No suggestions and I love the title!
love, Cat
lou
14 years 3 months ago
Cat
Thank you i'm flattered.
Love Lou
lou
14 years 3 months ago
Hi xena
Thank you,
Love Lou
ziggy
14 years 3 months ago
hi louise
I am liking this one a lot with lines like these
"Terror burns like a raging fire
searing the soul,
melting all self control. ,,,,,,,
and this "Cauterize the infection,
liberate my mind.
Set me on the path to redemption.
very good in my humble opinion
if you feel there is more in this go
for it ,,,,,,,,,,,,,well done ,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs
lou
14 years 3 months ago
Hi zigs
Thank you I'm really happy you like it
Come and have a chat please
Love louise