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May 12, 2022
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captain's quarters
a smile finds him
as he's lost in his thoughts
as the ship turns and tosses
of what one was taught
the first mate and crew
go out of their way
to make her shine greatly
for all others to see
the beach, it is shallow
and sandy, and grand
but with one's hands alone
one will never understand
his maiden is lost
and she glitters like gold
there is no one that consoles her
but her jolly sailor bold
it's lost to the eye
as he wanders and wanders
rum in one hand, a hook in the other
teeth yellow sharp
as one could quite ponder
all lives are lost to those
who explore the captain's quarters
About This Poem
Last Few Words: This is my first poem published, I hope you enjoy it.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Candlewitch
3 years 1 month ago
hello, nice to meet you!
it's lost to the eye
as he wanders and wanders
rum in one hand, a hook in the other
teeth yellow sharp
as one could quite ponder
all lives are lost to those
who explore the captain's quarters
could you interpret the last four lines? I'm quite lost, and it would be greatly appreciated if you did. thank you.
*respects, Cat