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Apr 26, 2013
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Cascading
Give me a view to remember
You know the favourite one
naked-obviously
My daily thrill wrapped up
in skin dewy
The hair fresh from processing
swathes in molton sheets
like a hooker wearing
a synthetic wig
Draping precious threads
smothering masculine
contours
Skin hair sweat
trickling between
soft crags
Your tumescence
piercing silver curtains
sprayed with
cascading comfort
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Esker
12 years 2 months ago
codette odes
your work mesmerizes me
if Im not prompted sometimes
in its meaning the depth is felt
thank you!
scribbler
12 years 2 months ago
Hi Betty
Good to see ya. Now exactly where should we meet? Be forewarned you might need track shoes so as to be able to run off screaming after seeing my excuse for "smothering masculine contures lmao. But seriously this is a fine poem of desire for it is concise without being pernographic. You might consider changing "naked-obviously" to
Naked
obviously
Might give the reader a bit more of a pause to visualize the person they want to see that way................Now to a cold shower lol........stan