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Jan 29, 2025
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Cat
This cat
doesn't sit on a mat.
He sits
on my balcony.
He comes
whenever he wants to.
He stares at me.
He did so
just yesterday.
He arrives
when he feels like it.
He goes
because he can.
Due to this,
I need flywire
on my window.
He's a beautiful cat,
but not my cat.
He just likes me
and my balcony.
And that's the story
of the cat.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: The cat visited me yesterday when I was negotiating with Phil to install flywire on my window. You cannot imagine how annoying it is not to be able to open the window and get some fresh air. He loves my balcony so much that he lies there , basking in the sun, when it is a warm day. I am looking forward to the reinforced flywire to be installed. It has to be reinforced so he does not destroy it.
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
5 months 1 week ago
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Cat" effectively captures the independent and unpredictable nature of the feline subject. The repetition of phrases like "He comes whenever he wants to" and "He arrives when he feels like it" emphasizes the cat's autonomy and aloofness. The use of enjambment in lines such as "He stares at me. He did so just yesterday" creates a sense of continuous observation and establishes a connection between the speaker and the cat. Additionally, the imagery of needing flywire on the window adds a practical element to the poem, highlighting the cat's impact on the speaker's daily life. Overall, the poem successfully conveys the unique relationship between the speaker and the cat, portraying the cat as a free-spirited visitor rather than a conventional pet.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Geezer
5 months 1 week ago
And what...
make you think he wants to come into your apartment? I think he just likes the sun on your balcony, and there is no place like it close by. Does the screening have to be reinforced? I am sure that if there is a barrier of some kind, he will just continue to lie in the sun, and not try to break in. I believe that this poem says more than you let on, and you fear that he will try to adopt you. Your language use is good, the pacing is right, and the theme is one of intrigue. Makes you wonder about the motives of the cat. Good job, ~ Geezer.
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The Gogetter
5 months 1 week ago
He has adopted me some time ago Geezer
Was it just a coincidence that he came when Phil came to make a quote for the reinforce flywire? My son-in-law lets a local cat walk into the house and he is fine with all that. Not me . I just want to be able to open the window. That's all. Pity it is too much of a change in the layout of my apartment with the stuff I have put there to do the large section of the door. I appreciate your commentary about the language and pacing. I intend to work on these two aspects of my poems and look outwards when I write a poem. I aim to rely on my ability to observe and see where that gets me now. I bought a book of poetry prompts to push me along a bit. I have also started to read other modern poets in a local bookstore around the corner from me. Always thankful for the mentoring that you give me. I feel more free to spread out my poetry and explore what is out there. Being introspective can shut you down.