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The Centre
The I at the centre of my universe
is mentally, physically so unaware
that multiple sentience, widely diverse
with manifold centres of I's, with me share
through various insights accorded to all
the wonders of manifest here for the soul
The better for digest and easy recall
the singular works are removed from the whole
The entire universe splintered and vibrant
decoded by infinite angles of view
examined by limitless sense, endless agents
and never one single I really accrues
the beauty and terror in perfect balance
ascending in octaves or gradients of time
throughout the wide paradigm of our existence
'til reaching the centre of I, called divine
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
weirdelf
13 years 2 months ago
[swoons]
Oh, now you've really got me! Intelligent, mindful as well as thoughtful, beautifully written.
Until the last line. [sighs] ok, bring in divinity if you must, I'll just exit at line 15
judyanne
13 years 2 months ago
lol
exit at line 15
- i know
i had trouble with it... i wanted to convey the divintiy and oneness of all.... and purposefully left out 'the'
--- but felt it still read as a godhead...
don't know how to fix it, maybe a comma after 'one'?
thanks jess
love judy
xxx
judyanne
13 years 2 months ago
oh i know
changed 'one' to 'I'
not perfect, but better i think
xxx
weirdelf
13 years 2 months ago
yes
better
judyanne
13 years 2 months ago
i have to confess
i haven't heard this one
lol - i looked it up on u-tube
and know why i don't know it - dreadful music
- i obviously changed the station before hearing the poetry -
amazing poetry with terrible music
lol - my opinion
hey eph thanks for the read and comment and talking heads lesson
love judd
xxxx
xxx