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Feb 01, 2012
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Chain (eddy styx) (updated)
Chain
tug my chain
my attention to gain
I rise and follow
in near silent pursuit
I am addicted
although restricted
to track your footsteps
from far behind
knowing not
what you've got
a devote disciple or
a stalker with sights trained
here a warning
far from morning
stray not from safe abode
down darkened paths
speak no slur
of stranger's spur
or a worse fate than reproach
occurring by blooded blade to endure
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
infinite_dwarf
13 years 5 months ago
spooky
"knowing not
what you've got
a devote desciple or
a stalker with sights trained"
That sent little shivers up my spine.
Interesting rhyme scheme, I don't think I've ever seen it before. Is there a term for it, or did it just appear?
Candlewitch
13 years 5 months ago
Hi Jess!
It is always a pleasant surprise to find your name in my comments section! I know how busy you are, so thanks for this. The style just came to me, lol. What should we call it? It developed with the poem.
(It is soooo good to have you here!!!)
always, eddy (& cat)
Nordic cloud
13 years 5 months ago
Disciple
I really experienced the 'music' of this Cat,
you caught the senses with the words in the first two lines of the verses
in an unusual manner. I would like to dance to this.
"I am addicted
although restricted
to track your footsteps
from far behind"
Ann.
Candlewitch
13 years 5 months ago
Hello Ann!
I'm so glad you read and liked this! I hope it didn't scare you, lol. Thanks so much for stopping by my page, reading and leaving your thoughts with me.
always, eddy (& cat)
Nordic cloud
13 years 5 months ago
Scare me!!
It takes a lot to scare me, ......I think!! :)
Not sure what you were alluding to eddy+Cat
Ann.
Candlewitch
13 years 5 months ago
LOL, Ann...
aluding to... follow (eddy) in his quest but be respectful, LOL.
always, Cat
lou
13 years 5 months ago
Cat
No word of a lie, you have done it again, sorry to say it is near perfection, i'm not worthy!! i'm not worthy!!!
Ya boo sucks to criique police LOL!!
Lou
Candlewitch
13 years 5 months ago
LOL, Lou and Booze Hound,
Thanks, but you have much to offer with your own words through experience! I look forward to them as you often inspire me.
always, eddy (& cat)
lou
13 years 5 months ago
Cat
thanks , ooh it's a love fest LOL!!
Much love Lou
Candlewitch
13 years 5 months ago
LOL Lou!
Write me a good BH poem!!!
always, Cat
wesley snow
13 years 5 months ago
I get it!
Eddy Styx is a pseudonym. I'm going to buy your book. Eddy's poetry is, of course, not my cup of tea, but I like the immediacy of it. Since Eddy is a character, do the poems ever sneak into the realm of storytelling?
And now that I know you are a published author, I know you need to be careful in your editing, so...
"Disciple" is spelled with an "i" and "occurring" has two "r's".
Am I annoying you yet?
Grammar Cop over and out.
wesley
Candlewitch
13 years 5 months ago
Dear Wesley,
Yes, eddy styx is my male alter ego :) Yes, he has ventured into some storry telling. No you are not annoying. I appreciate your help. I am a terrible speller, lol. Thank you for buying the book. Please do come back an offer your eagle eye again. You are always welcome.
Thanks, eddy (& cat)