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Barbara Writes
Barbara Writes
May 17, 2017 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

A Chair On The Porch

A chair, on the front porch, I stew;
I sat, absorbed the view;
The universe, I'm drawn into;
It's source, I quietly knew;

Birds sang, in smelting heat;
Babies fed, on mother's beak;

Life's unfairness, deprives;
Inner peace, locked inside;
My wit's end, have arrived;
Another day, another strive;

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Life it is what it is

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Not actively editing

About the Author

Region, Country: United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Billy Collins, Shakespeare, , Emily Dickinson, , , Whitman, Jess Tapper

More from this author

Comments

Eumolpus

Eumolpus

8 years 1 month ago

your poem

I think your poem reads well. This poem has a Dickenson sesnibility-, a great poet to be influenced by! I recently saw the film "A Quiet Passion" based on her life..a must see for her fans. Perhaps a Best Actress Oscar! It just came out, but should be in the art theaters around.
There are many questions I bring to the poem-You quietly know the source of the universe. I cannot know what it is to you, I want to know..
Follows is the tender aspect of nature, babies on the mothers beak. But this is immediately followed by all that is wrong with life in general, Life's unfairness. We might all know that life is unfair, kind of a universal truth, but I don't know why that is to you, at this moment in the poem. and that you're striving for something..inner peace?
So my analysis is that you should perhaps try to do less with the poem, and focus in on one theme and play with it...like Dickerson.
Your emotions certainly pop off the page...and the rhymes are nice, not forced.

Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

8 years 1 month ago

Thanks

Welcome to Neopoet; nice to meet you;
The comparison to Dickerson has me rejoicing;
I made some changes; I hope it reads better;
I had hoped the title would pop my theme off the page;
I'm pleased to know I have not disappoint;
My rhyming is normally a challenge and somewhat forced,
Today I dug deep into my psyche to make this poem rhyme the way I did;
I'm glad you think it nice;

Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

8 years 1 month ago

Thanks

Succinct is what I was going for; you're the highlight of my long day; ;)

S

scribbler

8 years 1 month ago

dang!

If I'M the highlight of your day it must have been a doozy lol...........stan

Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

8 years 1 month ago

Yep

And it ain't over yet as it will spill into another day

Sparrow

Sparrow

8 years 1 month ago

Barbara

A lovely write as you journey through another day, I hope your health is much better now.
Take care and have a lovely day out there,
Yours as always Ian xx

Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

8 years 1 month ago

Thanks

My health is much better these days;
I've learn the natural, nutritional means to healing
Glad you came by

Esker

Esker

8 years 1 month ago

a beam of the light

the view from the porch
in its real form
all in perspective of balance
the good and dark
Thank U Barbara

I too appreciate this
poem..just what I needed to
read this morning!
and its been a good day
but the elder man crew
whom are nice stood up
for those disrespected

amazing...there is still
good left!

and in a way they were
stewing over it..
but not in it..

Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

8 years 1 month ago

Thanks

Glad to know I touch all the key points that caught your attention
I thought simple would be more effective to bring out the porch scene
I love sitting on the porch it's invigorating for inner peace
enigmatic- do you mean hard to understand or mysterious

Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

8 years 1 month ago

Thanks

Intriguing mysterious is the portrait I went for as if it was a painting I call "poetic View " the title of my first poetry book.
This poetry scene could be anybody with whatever their mysterious thoughts are.
I may write a little teaser to this as who she is and what draws her to the comfort of the porch chair.
Glad you like it