Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Aug 07, 2018
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
Checking Out
I don't want to do this anymore
and I don't want to be here anymore.
I don't want to feel this
and I don't want to be this.
I don't want to do this anymore.
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Eumolpus
6 years 11 months ago
My take
The directness and repetition makes me feel this is more a musical lyric, which of course is a type of poem. But to be most effective I think it needs the music. I think everyone can relate to feeling this way sometimes (or often!)