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Dec 26, 2012
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A CHILDREN'S BOOK
A CHILDREN'S BOOK
I never did understand
the angry silence
that took away your love
or the beatings
that made no sense
to a senstive and innocent soul.
the wounds bled deep
and linger still in a heart
grown old.
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Ian.T
12 years 6 months ago
Joe
A memories cry but I hope is fiction.
Though many during this struggle called life we all encounter problems.
Reflected memory or just memory should be sorted into yes and No this is a no as others have to learn here also, if you understand, just think "Who has cried the most from this"??
Did you mean to put that "my" in the last but one line, it can be left out the impact is better.
Have a lovely quiet time young Joe, Yours as always Ian.T
Geremia
12 years 6 months ago
No fiction this, Wounds heal
No fiction this, Wounds heal into scars but bleed agaim when we remember.
weirdelf
12 years 6 months ago
I wrote a series of poems
called "Lies for Children"
this made me think of them
I may repost them
Geremia
12 years 6 months ago
I would like to see them. joe
I would like to see them.
joe
Frenchf
12 years 6 months ago
Was this physical abuse by a parent?
If so it is beautifully expressed and if that be the case I feel for you.
Sometimes it depends on the beating. if all the children are being beaten because of the Victorian " spare the rod and spoil the child philosophy" then it's easier to bury deep in your memory. I was beaten for-writing on walls, swinging on the garden gate not much else. Didn't seem like something one should be beaten for so it didn't make a mark
Usually it is parents trying to get one to behave and it doesn't work!
Frenchf
12 years 6 months ago
Was this physical abuse by a parent?
If so it is beautifully expressed and if that be the case I feel for you.
Sometimes it depends on the beating. if all the children are being beaten because of the Victorian " spare the rod and spoil the child philosophy" then it's easier to bury deep in your memory. I was beaten for-writing on walls, swinging on the garden gate not much else. Didn't seem like something one should be beaten for so it didn't make a mark
Usually it is parents trying to get one to behave and it doesn't work!
Geremia
12 years 6 months ago
I come from a different
I come from a different generation and different culture. That was their 'way"
weirdelf
12 years 6 months ago
Goodness gracious me! You have done a lot of revisions on this!
The original is a completely separate poem, and also viable.
I like them both very much. Slightly prefer the current form but it has lost the marvellous
Did you see
your own my tears
in mine.
Geremia
12 years 6 months ago
when I replaced "golden crown
when I replaced "golden crown" it lead me in a dfferent directon.It has lost its "spontaneity"but is still strong enough.
thanks, joe