Tam the Chanter

Dec 10, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

A Christmas Blessing

May you find that, if you stray

In December's snow and frost,

Christmas lights will show the way,

Though you are lost.

To the warmth of fire and friends

Who love you most.

Then settle down beside the hearth;

Toast your friendships , new and old.

Aquaintances are ever worth

Far more than miser's ill-got gold

New friends can bring a needed warmth

To men grown cold.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: popped into my head five minutes ago

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

Comments

scribbler

14 years 7 months ago

blessing

we all lose our way at time and could use this blessing. I line 4 you could try something like :though you find that you are lost to even out the rhythm............................scribbler

Tam the Chanter

14 years 7 months ago

rhythm

Thanks for the input, scribbler, but I think it works better as it is. Glad you took the time to comment

Ian

Tam the Chanter

14 years 7 months ago

My Oz Woman

Jayne-Chloe, as soon as I had this typed out , I thought of you. This is for you

Love

Ian xx

Pugilist

14 years 7 months ago

Insisted line 6 was grammatically flawed and i had to read the piece 6 or 7 times before i stopped reversing word order and finally read "Who love you most" rather than nearly any other combination you may consider.

But I do have 1 minor suggestion.in line 6; I am stumbling as a result of the declining meter in line 4 followed by ascending meeting in line 5 and subsequent declining meter in line 6.

I am thinking that starting line 6 with a repetition of line 5 might work as in:

"Of friends who love you most."

But I like the nature and feel of this piece. It pretends lightness while communicating a comforting and enticing message.

Jonathan

Tam the Chanter

14 years 7 months ago

why is "dyslexia" so hard to spell?

Thanks again Jonathan for the detailed crit.. I took this rhythm from Robert Burns "Address to the Haggis" and like the way it stops and starts when read out loud.. I read lines 1 to 3 then stop; line4 stop; line5 stop; then line6. It is a poem of hope, I suppose, and arrived unbidden/

Ian

Tam the Chanter

14 years 7 months ago

The Haggis

What classical aria can compare to the off - tune whistle of a Bull Haggis as he sharpens his fearsome tusks on a granite outcrop. Imagine a full day's hunting, with west highland terriers and shetland ponies, hacking your way through the long grass on the side of Ben Dover. Oh for the thrill of the chase and the ritual of the kill as it was carried out all those long years ago, by Gatling gun!!

Love

Ian xx

Tam the Chanter

14 years 6 months ago

blessing

Where did it go?

Tam the Chanter

14 years 6 months ago

let the good times roll

Shirl, I hope Santa is good to you

Have a Cool Yule !!

Love Ian xxx