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Christmas at Sea
A gale blew in on Christmas Eve;
we headed out to face the angry sea,
some 80 crew away from home,
including one tired navigator, me.
Our Coast Guard Cutter was “bucking” out
from Port-au-Prince, where we had served
long weeks on our patrol, but now,
we longed for rest so well deserved.
Then we received a call that took
us off our Portsmouth course,
to save those lives in peril of the sea--
for now the storm increased in force;
We knew that Santa would not come to us,
those “Always ready; Semper Paratus.”
About This Poem
Last Few Words: True account. My focus had been on end rhymes, not syllable count.
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Geezer
4 years 6 months ago
Is the true account...
the tale of the gale? Or the fact that you did not focus on syllable count? Lol. I like the story, but it seemed to be rather short in the end. I'm thinking that it should have been a little bit more dramatic and described the actual rescue. ~ Geez.
.
c lynn brooks
4 years 6 months ago
Van Ryan
welcome to Neo Poet
I was actually looking for more it seemed to have ended to abruptly perhaps another stanza or two
VanRyan
4 years 6 months ago
No Guys,
that's the long and the short of my tale. I've done enough jibber-jabber; time for my winter nap. Merry Christmas, and to all a good night.
Val, et al.