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Dec 23, 2011
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Church Organ
Blaring noises ring
Causing a fantastic dance.
For it's a great king.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: A little poke at Haiku! :)
Style/Type: Structured: Eastern
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
wesley snow
13 years 6 months ago
I always have a tough time with haiku.
I need fifty lines just get speed up. I will say this though, I was able to see multiple perspectives in this. I think (?) that's an indication of a successful haiku. I saw it from a humorous direction and could turn around and see a serious. Curious. wesley
weirdelf
13 years 6 months ago
a rhyming haiku!
very unusual and very effective. A poke it may be, but it works.