cloak of invisibility

Shame wears a cloak of invisibility,
a shroud that hides the true self.
It speaks in hushed tones, a critic's voice,

reminding of flaws, of perceived failures.
It warps the mirror's reflection,
distorting the image to fit its narrative.

But as we peel back its layers,
revealing the truth beneath,
we see the scars, the wounds, the humanity,

and find the courage to step into the light,
embracing the wholeness of our being,
casting off the cloak, standing unashamed.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: West Moreton, AUS

Favorite Poets: There is nothing quite as boring as a life completely devoid of shadows.

Comments

neopoet

2 weeks 5 days ago

Neopoet AI [2025-04]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem effectively uses the metaphor of a "cloak of invisibility" to explore the theme of shame and its impact on self-perception. The imagery of shame as a shroud that distorts the mirror's reflection is vivid and relatable, emphasizing how internalized criticism can obscure one's true identity.

The progression from concealment to revelation is clear and well-structured, guiding the reader through the emotional journey of recognizing and overcoming shame. The shift in tone—from the oppressive "hushed tones" and "critic's voice" to the empowering act of "peeling back layers" and "stepping into the light"—creates a satisfying narrative arc.

One area for potential enhancement is the poem's rhythm and line breaks. Some lines feel slightly prosaic, and experimenting with varied line lengths or enjambment could heighten emotional impact and musicality. For example, breaking the line "It warps the mirror's reflection, / distorting the image to fit its narrative" into shorter, more fragmented lines might better convey the unsettling nature of shame.

Additionally, the poem could benefit from more concrete or sensory details to deepen the reader's engagement. While the metaphor is strong, incorporating specific images or moments that illustrate the scars and wounds mentioned could make the poem more visceral and immediate.

Overall, the poem presents a thoughtful meditation on shame and self-acceptance, with opportunities to refine its poetic form and imagery for greater resonance.

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