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Coldness

Hopeless flies
the arrow
hard
against the wind,

a cry in the distance
of the desolation
of a desperate heart,

a sudden stop
within the enigmatic
eye of the storm.

The revolution
passes by,
and silhouetted faces
smile,

furrowed brows
masked by shadows,
and cloaks of falsehood
like a masquerade.

The drum rolls,
and bells toll
with an uncertain harmony.

Alone,
I sit on an iceberg,
and watch the loveless sea,
as the continents
float away into my dreams.

Take the children in,
and drain the blood.

There'll be carnage
in a bit.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: A bit too abstract.

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Ghana, GHA

Favorite Poets: William Shakespeare, Lord Byron, John Keats, Percy Shelley, Oscar Wilde, Alfred Lord Tennyson, Henry Longfellow, William Yates, Ezra Pound, Sylvia Plath

More from this author

Comments

William Saint George

William Saint George

12 years 4 months ago

quite right.

This poem is very personal, and I wrote it just when I was in the mood it portrays.

The line "the revolution passes by" is actually the core of the poem, and could pass as a title.

The last bit borders on the suicidal/self destructive.

Sitting on an iceberg, I thought, evoked coldness, loneliness and isolation.

Thanks for your comment.