Rosewood Apothecary

Jul 18, 2022 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Colorless Oblivion and Mourning (Black)

Event horizon looms
We pass beyond return
Stretched and torn apart
Compressed without concern

Consciousness depletes
Voiding thoughts and being
Gravitic singularity
Devours all the seeing

Darker than pitch
Nothing may escape you
Velvet robes of death
Envelope and will take you

To where, I know not
For we are all still here
Waiting for our fateful time
Shedding heavy silver tears

Dressed in darkest garb
We gravitate as one
Genetic singularity
Collated by a life undone

About This Poem

Last Few Words: We had a death in my large Irish family this past week. Funerals and weddings are really the only time we are all together anymore.

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: U.S.A., USA

Favorite Poets: Emily Dickinson, Robert Frost, Walt Whitman. I’m enamored by the work of lyricists such as Robert Hunter, John Barlow, John Dyer Baizley, and Tom Marshall just to name a handful.

Comments

nokros

2 years 12 months ago

Hi there...

sorry to hear about your loss. Like your playing with the word gravity. overall a good piece.

Candlewitch

2 years 12 months ago

first of all; I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope this family member was not a child. I think it is that much more tragic when a life has not been able to reach its full potential. I hope he/she passed in perfect peace. and I light a white candle for you all around healing of the heart and mind. you could start a new tradition and plan a family reunion...if your place isn't big enough for a lot of people, you could rent a hall. if money is tight, ask everyone to bring an item of food or alcohol. don't let them all fade away into obscurity.

your poem reflects your mood. dark and heavy. I hope you are not hurting badly. I love how you have personified Death. these are my favorite lines:

Consciousness depletes
Voiding thoughts and being
Gravitic singularity
Devours all the seeing

Darker than pitch
Nothing may escape you
Velvet robes of death
Envelope and will take you

*warm hugs, Cat
ever, eddy styx

Geezer

2 years 12 months ago

I can't really pick...

any favorite lines. I like the whole thing. You have kept the continuous thoughts and concerns all the way through. Weighty ideas about death and dying, but not morose and dragging one under, just the plain facts. ~ Geez.
.

Rosewood Apothecary

2 years 12 months ago

Thanks

For your deepest sympathies, I am grateful. This was a younger cousin (27 years old). Fentanyl overdose. Sad but expected. My family struggles with substance abuse. Her mom simply drank herself to death. My uncle was a life long alcoholic and Percocet addict who over dosed the day he came home with OxyContin for the first time. I’m a recovering addict myself. I still use cannabis daily, but I’m 7 years sober from alcohol and 18 years sober from cocaine and MDMA. My favorite drug was always LSD or Psilocybin mushrooms. I’m planning a psychedelic experience soon.

Thanks again fam,
Tim

Candlewitch

2 years 12 months ago

dear Tim,

it does seem to run in families. myself I was a dedicated Crystal Meth major with a minor in LSD and her cousins, LOL. was! Happiness is a warm gun...

*hugs, Cat

Geezer

2 years 12 months ago

I sympathsize...

We just lost a son a couple of months ago, to heroin [we believe laced with Fentanyl]. I am still a toker and ex-user of various pyschoactive drugs. It's not easy. ~ Geez.
.

Jackweb

2 years 12 months ago

John Donne's poem, 'death be

John Donne's poem, 'death be not proud' is a masterful argument against the power of death. The theme or the message, of the poem is that death is not some all- powerful being that human should fear. Instead, death is actually a slave to the human race and have no power over our souls.

May the soul of your departed one rest in perfect peace!
.

RoseBlack

2 years 11 months ago

My deepest condolences

For your loss. I lost a cousin some years ago, same age as yours, due to suicide. He was troubled many years by addiction and depression and the family never really recovered from the loss. You have captured death in a way most cannot through your writing. Your language and flow are superb. I look forward to seeing your new publications each day! Well done!