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Colours

Splash
Sparkle
Shine
Illuminate

I wear them.
I apply them
on my face.
I feel them.

Without colour
my life is incomplete.
It shapes me,
and drives me
in a positive direction.

I think of ruby reds,
fluorescent orange,
sunshine yellow.
They elevate my mood.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I was watching a documentary about Vivienne Westwood. I have always been fascinated by her and her shocking colours and pattern combinations. They prompt me to think. She was a wonderful designer and out there, out loud, fearing nobody.

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Country/Region: VIC

Favorite Poets: Dorothea McKellar, Henry Lawson, Banjo Paterson

More from this author

Comments

neopoet

neopoet

2 months 3 weeks ago

Neopoet AI [2025-04]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem effectively conveys the emotional and symbolic significance of color in the speaker’s life, using concise and vivid language. The initial four one-word lines—“Splash / Sparkle / Shine / Illuminate”—serve as dynamic verbs that evoke sensory experiences and set an energetic tone. These words function well as an opening, but the poem might gain additional impact by exploring more specific or unexpected imagery connected to these actions.

The transition to the personal perspective with “I wear them. / I apply them / on my face. / I feel them.” grounds the abstract qualities of color in a tangible, intimate act, likely referencing makeup or self-expression. The simplicity of these lines works, but varying sentence structure or incorporating metaphor could deepen the emotional resonance.

The middle stanza introduces the idea that color is essential to the speaker’s identity and motivation: “Without colour / my life is incomplete.” This is a strong thematic statement, though it could be expanded to explore how color shapes or drives the speaker more concretely. The phrase “in a positive direction” is somewhat vague; specifying what that direction entails might enhance clarity and emotional depth.

The closing lines list specific colors—“ruby reds, fluorescent orange, sunshine yellow”—which effectively evoke vivid, warm hues associated with vitality and happiness. The final line, “They elevate my mood,” ties the sensory imagery back to emotional experience but feels slightly prosaic compared to the earlier poetic language. Consider using metaphor or simile here to maintain the poem’s lyrical quality.

Overall, the poem’s strength lies in its clear thematic focus and sensory language. To deepen its impact, consider incorporating more varied imagery, metaphor, and specificity, as well as refining the rhythm and line breaks to enhance musicality.

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