lovedly

Sep 14, 2015 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

This poem is part of the contest:

Month Of Change

(Read More...)

Come September {} September contest free style{}

Very soothing change over
like a gal switches off
and
dresses into her gown
the night has come

September breeze
not much yet to freeze,

we all will see the moving away
of the sun
now on the Equator on September 21,(twentyone)
then as the sun distances from us
leaves fly about in hopeful trust
ere they lay about the ground,
in colors so profound,
trees bare down
but gradually,
till they bare like me
a baldy

then as the sun has gone down south
far enough
the summer has vanished
and
Autumn leaves are also banished

then you say 'tis fall
this has come after all,
it had to as it has been
many thousands
nay millions,
nay billion years
humanity has been at sea

just enjoy this fall
as the ones you have seen
'tis the coming of autumn
that has yet to be seen,

let green leaves now look like colored flowers
welcome autumn please
The beauty of space
is now lent by bare trees
we can through the far distance
now see....

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: UNIVERSE...ETERNITY C/O ME, ROU

Favorite Poets: All across the Internet whom I read , and they inspire..

Comments

wesley snow

9 years 9 months ago

Lovely.

I mean the poem was lovely. Not confusing. Just very pretty.

This line is the only one I didn't understand.
(till they bare like me
a baldy)

lovedly

9 years 9 months ago

Glad snowman

you found it
lovely
to rhyme with
baldy
autumnly

Sparrow

9 years 9 months ago

Loved

A great write and now these sort of writes are expected from you so no going back, as the seasons change so must you and now you are moving into a better phase.
Not to return lol,
Yours as always Ian..

scribbler

9 years 9 months ago

Hi loved

Very vivid poem. Thanks for entering contest.......stan

wesley snow

9 years 9 months ago

Ian's right.

This poem is different in a very good way. I like it very much. No going back. Clarity above all.

lovedly

9 years 9 months ago

in my life it's always been

well done
RED
GREEN
the winner !!!
in boxing
know ye?

Sparrow

9 years 9 months ago

Loved

Cant remember who it was that kept answering a question with a question, did you study under this guy lol,
Yours Ian..

lovedly

9 years 9 months ago

wasn't it you

so I remember
many masters follow this drill
wait let it fall
then snow
then sunshine
then what Ian
matches ur name
hahahaaa
u got it right this time
let it rain

Sparrow

9 years 9 months ago

Loved

You must have been hell to teach, so have you retired or are you still in the aspects of the mind ??Its good to walk with someone that talks back even though it is questionable lol.
Take care young Bard, you didn't say if you preferred whiskey to tea,
Yours Ian..

lovedly

9 years 9 months ago

you taught me never to take it! lying down... lie as in lay

so in your garden of words
I play
and my prowess
okay brows display
can't help it any way
come September is going away
THE FALL we have now to spray
comes any day 'tis 16th today
is 23 rd far way?

question is still open any one?
answer for fun
for Ian

Sparrow

9 years 9 months ago

Loved

As there are no new comments apart from your own then I shall find some other things to do.
I wonder how long these others will be on holiday for ???
Yours Ian..

raj

9 years 9 months ago

seasonal transitions brought

seasonal transitions brought about nicely

Regards,

lovedly

9 years 9 months ago

thank you raj

u have been marked absent
since long no sea
is Bombay gone dry
no MARINA beach

lovedly

9 years 9 months ago

Did u read my reply

raj

Barbara Writes

9 years 9 months ago

Lovedly

I thought the rhymes was profound and read rather well. I did paused a few times where I stumble to keep the flow in my animated reading voice. But the poem was nice I liked the juxtaposition, new word I learn from Stan, summer like the gal that switches off and change and autumn is her undressing.

lovedly

9 years 9 months ago

Barbara do let me know where u did stumble yet did not fall ere

the fall
i shall oil the very path
or spread fallen leaves
so that you move along unhurt
and fresh autumnal air
continue to breathe

Barbara Writes

9 years 9 months ago

Stumbled but did not fall

What a lovely poem lovedly you've written for me in your comment.
It's was the baldy bc my brain won't read it right lol
My mind saying badly instead of baldy.
Now I get it after all. The trees are bald as your head
I like that juxtaposition

lovedly

9 years 9 months ago

by now all know I am the Niagara of

free fall poetry
and many thanks
to readers and poets like thee
Barbara Lady......

Barbara Writes

9 years 9 months ago

Much welcome.

I too am Niagara free fall of poetry. I though am writing in my Apple notepad not posting so much but ever so often here. Eyes won't allow me to read and critique as I'd like

lovedly

9 years 9 months ago

take care of your eyes

I once had a very old friend
could go to heaven any moment
i said use your glasses and read
he said foolish guy
how will I see God
when I go to heaven
and here following you silly guy
i go blind
so i said keep it in mind
and also mention to god
men of my kind
who with open eyes
are totally BLIND!

Barbara Writes

9 years 9 months ago

Lol

I'm doing my best

lovedly

9 years 9 months ago

then

all the very best
in the contest
let autumn come and go
and
best poetry prize
on you bestow
let our good wishes
like the Niagara flow
and
in the Mist get dissolved
as is over
the September show!