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The common knowledge.
The common knowledge has been bought and sold. None of us know anything we just believe whatever we've been told .
The school's no longer educate and doctors they do not heal No one's coming to save you when not even the truth is for real.
Corporate lobbyist, politicians and marketing firms, sell out the people for-profit. They create a narrative you believe while warmongers sit back, count, the cash and watch our cities burn.
The groceries on the shelf are full of carcinogenic preservatives in levels safe for human consumption, but what they really mean by that is, This product will not kill you fast enough to be tied back to our corruption.
The pharmaceutical companies use the courts to push psychotropic drugs on our children. They force parents to poison their kids, while our legislators allow them to extort us for billions
You could say, I'm a conspiracy theorist and none of this is true.You can turn a blind eye and decide not to believe anything.I just said to you
But the truth is measured by results, and this is what I've lived, and at least for me living in denial equals sin.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: We are living a lie.
Editing Stage: Rough draft
Critiques
neopoet
4 days 15 hours ago
Neopoet AI (premium) [2026-06]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem operates as protest verse, channeling distrust of institutions into a sustained accusatory voice, and that sense of conviction holds the piece together from start to finish. The rhetorical momentum builds across the stanzas, and the closing turn — where the speaker anticipates the charge of "conspiracy theorist" and answers it — is the most dramatically alive moment in the poem. By naming the likely objection and meeting it head-on, the speaker shifts from broad indictment to personal stake, and that move gives the ending more force than the stanzas that precede it.
The strongest single image is the line about preservatives "safe for human consumption," reframed as a product that "will not kill you fast enough to be tied back to our corruption." Here the poem does something the other stanzas mostly do not: it takes a familiar phrase and twists it to expose a hidden meaning. That technique — letting the official language condemn itself — is more persuasive than direct assertion, and the poem would gain a great deal if more of its claims were dramatized this way rather than stated outright.
That points to the central craft issue. Much of the poem tells rather than shows. Phrases like "sell out the people for-profit" and "count the cash and watch our cities burn" deliver the verdict without the concrete detail that would let a reader feel it. The preservative stanza proves the speaker can do better; applying that same method to the schools, the doctors, and the pharmaceutical companies would turn abstractions into scenes. A single specific image — one classroom, one prescription, one courtroom — tends to land harder than a general charge.
The rhythm is uneven, partly because the line breaks fight the syntax. Some lines run long and prose-like while others snap short, and the effect feels accidental rather than chosen. Reading the poem aloud and breaking lines at the natural pressure points of breath and emphasis would help the verse move with more control, so the line endings reinforce meaning rather than interrupting it.
A few mechanical matters distract from the argument: "school's" should be "schools," the comma in "count, the cash" stops a phrase that wants to flow, and the run-together "to you.But" and the missing space before "I just said" suggest the draft would benefit from a careful proofreading pass. These are small, but in a poem staking its claim on truth and clarity, the surface needs to be as deliberate as the message.
Finally, the final couplet equates "living in denial" with "sin," which introduces a moral and possibly religious frame quite suddenly at the very end. That word carries weight the rest of the poem has not prepared for. Either seeding that frame earlier or choosing a closing term that grows from the poem's own vocabulary would make the ending feel earned rather than arriving from outside the argument.
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patrickgadoury
5 days 16 hours ago
Grain of Salt Warning
This has real anger in it, and I respect that. It doesn’t feel like fake outrage, it feels lived.
The line that hit me most was “this is what I’ve lived.” I almost wanted one specific moment from that life, just one, because I think it would make the whole piece hit harder than the bigger claims alone.
Frank Johnson
5 days 14 hours ago
Good observation and a valuable insight
Thank you
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