Hooded Stranger

Feb 24, 2011 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Compass

Lost and confused
Emotions have run amok
Can't find North
I've reached deadlock

Sunk and perplexed
Feelings are blocked
Can't find East
I've reached gridlock

(chorus)
My compass of morality
Keeps turning and spinning
Offering me
No direction or clarity

(chorus)
My compass of morality
Keeps spinning and turning
Offering me
Nothing but insanity

Broke and alone
Senses have stopped
Can't find South
I've become laughingstock

Silent and ruined
Vocal cords clogged
Can't find West
Back to the starting block

(middle 8)
My compass, keeps turning
No direction or clarity
My compass, keeps spinning
Sending me to insanity

Still silent and ruined
Head turned in shock
Can't find my way
Back to the starting block

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: West England, GBR

Favorite Poets: Sylvia Plath (poet), Caitlin Mattison/Eddy Styx (poet 'candlewitch'), Enda Collins (poet 'ziggy'), Martin Gore (lyricist for Depeche Mode), Neil Tennant (lyricist for Pet Shop Boys), Stefan Großmann (lyricist for Absurd Minds), Lemmy Kilmister (lyricist for Motörhead), Nathan Reiner (lyricist for Third Realm), Wayne Hussey (lyricist for The Mission), Leonard Cohen (lyricist), Tom Shear (lyricist for Assemblage 23), Clint Carney (lyricist for System Syn & Fake), Ronan Harris (lyricist for VNV Nation), Aaron Lewis (lyricist for Staind), Jason Charles Miller (lyricist for Godhead), Torben Wendt (lyricist for Diorama), Adrian Hates (lyricist for Diary Of Dreams)

Comments

raj

14 years 5 months ago

Dan

thw confused state of mind in chaos very well expressed in this write...i liked the title Compass because its an icon of providing direction...this song creates a whirlwind effect too..

Hooded Stranger

14 years 5 months ago

Raj

Raj,

thanks for the comment. I like the whirlwind slant you mentioned, I hadn't really thought about that. I was working this one with some demo music and you've given me an idea to bring in a whirlwind effect to add atmosphere with the chorus line.

I guess the whirlwind is a good metaphor as it keeps spinning and this piece is caught in a loop where it keeps goings back to the beginning, and spinning again...I can imagine the spinning effect getting faster and this could be worked in by increasing the tempo.

You should be a songwriter my friend!

Thank you,

raj

14 years 5 months ago

Dan

it gives me joy if my comment has provided some cues to add sound effects to your song...

sharing with you a few lines of a song i guess i had written about 5-6 years back

how good are these wings
if we can't feel the wind... in our face
how good is a face
if it can't... beam emotions...

how good is a wind
if it can't stir.. the waves in an ocean
how good are these waves
if they can't.. move her passions....

how good is a breeze
if it can't..seize a blossom in her heart
how good is the blossom
if we can't.. breathe her fragrance....

how good is a mist
if it can't ..veil her velvety hues
how good are these hues....
if they can't.. bear some dew...

let us face the wind..while we soar the skies,
let it move the passions ..in our heart,
then the waves within..would spring alive,
for the mist to clear...and dew our eyes..

Hooded Stranger

14 years 5 months ago

Raj

Raj,

thanks for adding these lyrics of yours - if you don't mind, I would like to take them away and take some time to read them and get back to you with comment.

Kindest regards and thanks for sharing...you know how I like lyrics!

raj

14 years 5 months ago

Dan

feel free ..i would consider it to be a privilege if you find these lyrics worthy to work upon...afterall they were just scribbled down in my note pad when i was trying to unwind...i havent worked on them thereafter...so they are quite raw,...

Hooded Stranger

14 years 5 months ago

Raj

Raj,

the lyrics look good to me at first glance...and you've got a quality chorus at the bottom of all the verses. You've made my job very easy...when shall I announce our first live show?

Lol!

raj

14 years 5 months ago

Dan

Big Smiles...i can now feel the wind on my face ..you are most welcome to give these lurics wings....

Hooded Stranger

14 years 4 months ago

Raj

Raj,

find below an alternative take on your lyrics. I changed some lines around a little but tried to keep the main substance of your words together. I added an extra chorus just to fill it out as if I was writing this to be recorded as a song.

Goodness

How good are these fluttering wings
If we can't feel the wind upon our skin
How much use is a perfect face
If it can't beam emotions of a purest grace

How good is the evenings mandolin wind
If it can't stir the waves of an ocean
How good is the surging tide
If they can't move her passions inside

(chorus)
Let us face the wind while we soar the skies
Let it move the passions within our heart
Then the waves within would spring alive
For the mist to clear and dew our eyes

(chorus)
Let us face the wind while we ride the waves
Let it open the grace from within our heart
Then the skies above would sing with life
And my tears of love will forever survive

How good is a gentle Summer breeze
If it can't seize a blossom in her heart
How good are the petals in full bloom
If we can't breathe in her subtle perfume

How good is a swirling morning mist
If it can't veil her richly soft complexion
How good are these velvety hues
If they can't bear tiny droplets of dew

Kind regards,

Candlewitch

14 years 5 months ago

raj,

Wow! You've given Dan the gift of song, and what a great one to boot.

love, Cat

raj

14 years 5 months ago

Dear Cat...

thank you for your kind words..but as i mentioned to Dan..these were scribbled down in my notepad years ago....and i havent worked on them thereafter...surely Dan will do an excelent job of that...

much love..

Hooded Stranger

14 years 5 months ago

MB

MB,

this has very early demo music...the lyrics and music were created earlier today...I am more of the lyric guy and vocalist with the band...I leave the music to the other half of the band...but that doesn't mean I don't like to tinker with sounds and tempos.

Typo!...ah bollocks!...I was so into 'chord' changes that I got carried away...I have made the change, thank you.

No crit?...oh come on, I can't be perfect, oh alright then, I am! Lol! (awaits for the verbal beating)

cheers,

Hooded Stranger

14 years 5 months ago

MB

MB,

I was already sitting back with my pipe and slippers thinking how perfect I was, and then you brought me back to reality!! Lol!

Thanks for finding alternatives to my piece and still keeping the flow the same and same rhyming sequence. I had originally liked my last line of "can't find my way back to the starting block", but you have given me food for thought now and I might use my lines in a new verse after verse two and use your verse as my last verse...or maybe not!!

I like having all these options, it makes recording so much more fun, because if it doesn't work right the first time, you just switch lines and verses and throw in extra words here and there until you have a draft of something resembling your original idea.

Thanks for the suggestions, truly appreciated,

regards,

Hooded Stranger

14 years 5 months ago

Shirl

Shirl,

I believe we are, and for some of us, the damn needle won't settle, leaving us spinning and turning through life...but maybe that is the path we have, a muddled one!

As for 'laughingstock'...we have all been that at somepoint in our lives, some of us are still there!

Any suggestions to improve this piece?

Thanks for stopping by,

regards,

Hooded Stranger

14 years 5 months ago

Shirl

Shirl,

the jury is still out on whether lyrics and poetry are the same. I guess with poetry there is more licence to do what you want without the need of structure, whereas lyrics, have the complication of needing to work not only as words, but as song with music.

I tend to follow a close syllable count with my verses and chorus and line length is important to me, although there are many songs out there not written with such a strict structure.

I have had quite a few members ask me to help them turn their poetry into lyrics, so maybe at a later date a workshop on lyric writing may be of interest to some. We have a few lyricists amongst the Neo ranks...Psyve immediately jumps to mind.

Thank you for reading and commenting, you're always welcome.

regards,

Hooded Stranger

14 years 5 months ago

Shirl

Shirl,

actually, I often read poems/lyrics in a rap style, simply because it is a good way to get into the flow and easily identifies any lines or words that don't quite fit, although in many poems, it doesn't matter, but it's how I like to read.

I wonder if Psyve would be interested in running a 'Lyric' workshop...assuming there are enough people wanting to attend.

regards,

Pixee

14 years 5 months ago

Nice Work

I can understand a little of what you write. I have been there many a time. I sometimes feel as if I am still there. This read got me thinking. I can relate to this poem quite well. Nicely written. I couldn't have come near of what you have written. Keep up the great poems. Read you later.

Quote: Poetry is the living soul of the writer.
Pixee

Friends,

Pixee

Hooded Stranger

14 years 5 months ago

Pixee

Pixee,

thanks for stopping by to read and comment.

Glad the write got you thinking.

Don't put yourself down, I am sure you can not only come near to what I have written, but probably go higher. This is a simple lyric, with a simple theme...I hope you'll get to hear it soon.

Many thanks,

lou

14 years 5 months ago

Dan

As you know I have just read this , but i wanted to visit the page and read it again. With the risk of incurring the rath of the Neopoet word Police i'd like to say, , fucking brill, fab, lovely in it's ease and simplicity of style.

lou

Hooded Stranger

14 years 5 months ago

Lou

Lou,

thanks for the input prior to posting, as you know, the last part of the lyric was helped along by you.

regards,

lou

14 years 5 months ago

Dan

Glad I could be of help, but I think you are being generous, it was 99.5 % there before I looked at it.

Lou

Kailashana2

14 years 5 months ago

I like this thread, and can't

I like this thread, and can't help but tell you I've sat on the (compass) needle many a time, just to know which way was up.

Enjoyed this write, looking forward to the music.

Hooded Stranger

14 years 5 months ago

Anna

Anna,

I have an image of the needle being stuck in your ass now!! LOL!

Thanks for dropping in,

regards,

Candlewitch

14 years 5 months ago

Dear Dan,

I'm having a dilemma here, because I like your original song lyrics, but I also like what Bee has done with it. Forget Neo's word police, they are so full of hot air and overcome by the mastery of their own egos, to be the real judge of anything. So I'm going to agree with Lou on the brilliant!

love, Cat

p.s.

I can see the whirlwind thing which raj mentioned, and it works very well.

Hooded Stranger

14 years 5 months ago

Cat

Cat,

yes, I will have to have a quiet word with Bee, as I liked the original lyrics and now I also like Bee's suggestions!...so she has given me a dilema too!

Neo police, ego's, what here at Neopoet...I don't believe it!

LOL!

Raj, has opened my eyes to the whirlwind theme, I didn't have that intention, but the more I read this piece, the whirlwind has become a part of it...the music will hopefully incorporate that too. Funny how someone looking in from outside the box can spot something so obvious that the writer missed!

I am working on Raj's lyrics at the moment...he's good...but don't tell him!...there's no more room for another ego!!

"Brilliant"...of course it is, me and my ego created it!

cheers,

ziggy

14 years 5 months ago

hi hood

this for me is cooked and ready to serve as it is
simplistic but clever, I like your use of " run amok"
in the opening lines, I am wondering what the tempo
is i am sure you will tell me lol, my fav lines ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"Sunk and perplexed
Feelings are blocked
Can't find East
I've reached gridlock",,,,,,,,,,,,,,,the ending lines ,,,,,,,,
"Can't find my way
Back to the starting block" ,,,,,,also work as I see it
good job ,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs

Hooded Stranger

14 years 5 months ago

Zigs

Zigs,

The tempo is still undecided...originally a fast paced one to indicate the spinning of the needle...but with Raj's input of a whirlwind effect, I am thinking of starting with a slow tempo, and gradually picking it up and ending in a creshendo of some sort.

Did you want fries to go with this take out?

Thanks mate,

Hooded Stranger

14 years 5 months ago

Zigs

Zigs,

just read your email and although 'vocal cords' was originally mis-spelt (accidentally), it would work if I had kept the mistake, since the 'chords' of music, and this being a song, actually make sense.

Another dilema for me!

Lol!

ziggy

14 years 5 months ago

lol

and there was me trying to help lol,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs

Hooded Stranger

14 years 5 months ago

MB

Dear MB,

many thanks, am currently playing 'Benevolence'...will respond in detail once I have gone through them all a few times.

Really appreciate you doing this,

regards,

Hooded Stranger

14 years 4 months ago

MB

MB,

really liked the first track 'Benevolence'...I am not normally taken with instrumentals, but with this one you managed to keep it refreshingly different throughout and despite it's 11mins length, I was totally absorbed in it.

A Lie Is A Lye - this is amazing, I really like sound clips thrown in to a pice of music...and this one really worked a treat. I do listen to a lot of rhythmic noise tracks which are normally crossed with aggressive vocals...this track got quite aggressive and again, was thoroughally enjoyable. Great climax to that one too.

Ogen - I wasn't too keen on the distorted breathing sequence at the beginning, it didn't really do anything for me, until it melted into a spoken word section, then it picked up and the distorted breathing became easier to tolerate. I enjoyed the early 80's electronic sequences about midway through and that ran to the end of the track and finished it off really well, especially as it became more aggressive.

Borgore - Sleepyhead rmx mixed with Noisia - Painkilla - This was a very clubby sounding track, it was ok, but i am not really into dance and this, although well produced, didn't grab me. It changed style about 2 mins 30 secs in and I began to enjoy it much more.

Peel M£ -{}-:A5:-{}- Random Memory Dump//-\\5//-\\ - wow, that is a title and a half! Didn't like this one at all, sorry but the noises became irritating.

Peel-=- Me-=-A5-=-A1 - this one was brilliant and I loved the whole track from beginning to end. Good slow build up and then got quite messy (but in a good way). Definetly rhythmic noise in the latter half of the track...awesome!

']['arot - this was the most lyrically friendly track. I could write lyrics to go with this one as it is quite tranquil in places but with enough drive to stay interesting. My favourite track of the lot without a doubt.

Baskease - Trent Reznor (Nine Inch nails) has recently written an instrumental album and this track sounded much like that. Very crisp sound effects and atmosphere...a good track for a film. Good distortion at the end.

Test pepperr - VartDader - Had a good sci-fi feel to it. Great production. wasn't keen on the sound clip voice at the end...didn't feel it needed that. Another excellent track and I take my hat off to you for keeping it fresh for the whole 9 mins+.

Part Tribal - not much to say about this one, i guess it was simply a test piece to see how you handled 'tribal'...which you did fine. I would like to hear a longer version of this one and see what else you incorporate into it.

Test Stepperr - Partabl£? - had good tempo changes. was a little weird, but I liked it's weirdness!

Dragged sample -=- 38 ben'jam'inos {preview} - I got bored with this one and skipped to next track...nothing was really happening for me on this track.

{](A/Mean\Bee)[}<8}{|i!|}{(_)}> }>Strawberry Jam<{acoustic instrumental play mastering} - short title! This was a raw track and had me gripped throughout. Funky, noisey, acoustic and distorted, all melted into one! Loved it. 15 mins!...wow, that was a long track!

A Machine Slayer -=- Multi Cultural Layer,,.... - this one sped up and slowed down with such ease it was a dream to listen to. My only issue, the title...it didn't sound like a Machine being Slayed! Lol!

Thanks for the link, I had fun.

lou

14 years 5 months ago

Dan

This one was perfect to begin with, personally I don't think you need to change one single thing about it.

Lou

Hooded Stranger

14 years 5 months ago

Lou

Lou,

thanks for your comment.

cheers,

Dan

KINGZOMBIE

14 years 4 months ago

I wanna hear it, lol

I love all the lyrics I have read so far, and I too see your dilemma.I was wondering if the song has been finished and if its on youtube or somewhere?Music is one of my true loves in life, the lyrics are great, thanks for sharing them.

Hooded Stranger

14 years 4 months ago

KZ

KZ,

thanks for the positive vibe my friend. These lyrics are still being sorted out before a final version is ready for recording.

Check out:

www.systemasynthetica.net

you can hear the band there on the 'sound' tab.

Never done a video, so nothing on Youtube, but having said that, the perfect circle tracks are black videos with just the words on the screen...maybe I should do that?

Anyway, I appreciate your words my friend.

regards,

KINGZOMBIE

14 years 4 months ago

You all are really good

I enjoyed listening to your band very much.I think a video with the lyrics is a fine idea, plus it will get you guys out there some more.

Hooded Stranger

14 years 4 months ago

KZ

KZ,

I haven't ever tried to make a video, but I seem to have the programs on my laptop, so I am going to 'have a play' and see what happens.

Glad you liked the band...album almost finished...you're on the mailing list for a promo copy...will either send you a link to the album or post you a physical CD.

We have laredy turned down three offers from Record Labels as we just like making the music for fun and have 'real' jobs...that pay our bills...not much money in music these days. That said, I have no issue with getting us 'guys' out there.

Will let you see the video when it is done.

regards,

cheers mate,

KINGZOMBIE

14 years 4 months ago

Thank you

I would very much like that, as I'm sure my uncle would.I seem to have found you another fan as well as myself, lol

Hooded Stranger

14 years 4 months ago

KZ

KZ,

I will make sure your Uncle also gets the link or CD too.

Thanks for the campaigning...you may see the mighty Systema Synthetica rolling into your town whilst on our 'world domination' tour!! LOL!

I appreciate your kind words and you have some seriously good taste in music!

regards,