The Conclusion

This is a strangely haunting thought, being buried and yet not then finding that you are but not as you had wished it to be. I wonder if we ever get it as we wish it to be, and who cares in a way as we cannot see it, or I don't believe we can, shall I say?

I liked the idea very much, we are forced to feel with you by the very nature of the subject. The bringing of stones I like too. When I had a big birthday last, I said I didn't want any presents, just a stone and a poem, that was good, I loved the results.

"I do not need a concrete vault nor a polished
Marble head stone or tears to fall close your eyes"

I think you need some commas within the text even if not at the end of the lines
concrete vault, nor a polished
tears to fall, close your eyes......in this line one is confused at first.

"If at a later date you should visit my grave
Add one more rock to the pile that's been made" .do you need 'that's been made' seems too much.

ok is okay, not truly a poetic term and in this poem not either. All right would be better

The IT was not to be, the It could be on the next line and even the THE of the last line could join its context line.

Well I made some thoughts about this one you Crimson Queen, floating from one world to the next and back again.
Nordic cloud, or Ann of Norway.

if you do not believe in life after death, then your dream should
make you a believer by now
:::::::::::::::::::::::
If at a later date you should visit my grave
Add one more rock to the pile that's been made
A nosegay of wild flowers would be ok but
Give to the living the best bouquets
:::::::::::::::::::::::::
before I was hit by your last stanza, I was so hoping that it should be a
dream but it turned to be one. BUT the truth about your poem is that even in death
the subject is a kind and selfless spirit that has the living at heart and wishes
for them the very best.

altogether, you have constructed one beautiful kind and a selfless poem. great write.

I like your title, as it fits the piece. In these lines:

I wanted to return to the peaceful land it
Was not to be I was in a coffin and buried the

try:

I wanted to return to the peaceful land
It was not to be I was in a coffin and buried the

it makes a better line break to end the sentence with "land" and begin the next sentence with "It".

I liked the sentiment of these lines best:

If at a later date you should visit my grave
Add one more rock to the pile that's been made
A nosegay of wild flowers would be ok but
Give to the living the best bouquets

always, Cat

and very well written

i have one crit
imho i think you should write it as you want it to be read
starting EVERY line with a capital letter is offputting (for me at least) as i keep pausing to see if the thought is finished and another starting

also
'Smile as you leave my humble grave'
- you have used 'grave' in the previous stanza - a write this short is (again imho i stress) spoiled a little when a word is repeated, unless the word is one needing to be stresed (and i don't think this does)
perhaps you could think of another way to say this, or another word to use?

all in all i really liked this poem
especially the lines
'If at a later date you should visit my grave
Add one more rock to the pile that's been made
A nosegay of wild flowers would be ok but
Give to the living the best bouquets'

love judy