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Confusion and Chaos

Confusion and Chaos

A child is hurt oh hear the cries!
An empty world;
With no hope unfold;
But lashes and bruises!
Circles of the wound, which opens so wide
Should I had die, die, die!

A child is hurt oh hear my cries!
Hunger pangs in the middle of the belly;
Throat runs dry, it’s hard to swallow;
What was led to starvation?
As part of the hatred towards a child
Should I had die, die, die.

A child is hurt oh hear my cries!
Locked in a room as time flies by;
Only to escape when footsteps are gone;
Only to see the brighter sun;
Only to feel as others play;
Only to be loved in childhood days;
Should I had die, die, die!

A child is grown up oh hear the cries!
Of a broken heart, weaker minds;
Just perpetuating that untold pain;
For what once was a story remains hidden;
But born the fruits of broken souls into families;
A child who lived yet did not die;
Faced the pain of childhood fears;
Should I had die, die, die!

Where is Mummy or Daddy?
Should they not protect the flock and provide?
They are here ever so near, as they were the ones I had to fear;
A child is hurt, oh hear the cries
Anyone! Anyone! Anyone!

About This Poem

Last Few Words: KIndly edit this poem for improvement, I will be most appreciative.

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: South Zone

Favorite Poets: Maya Angelou, Beau Taplin, Nelson Mandela, William Shakespeare, Lucy Maud Montgomery

More from this author

Comments

Jackweb

Jackweb

3 years ago

The effect of repetition:

"A child is hurt oh hear the cries!"

It makes the readers realize that it's an important part of the poem and asks them to pay special attention to it.

Repetition brings the meaning, theme into some focus. The poem portrays a childhood punishment, mistreatment through hunger strike and house cell. It was so terrible that no one comes to your aid or even your parents at least to have a change of mind. It seems your parents are very hardened.

The imagery used in the poem was so descriptive! It appeals to the readers imaginations and senses as well.
Pathetic, emotive, heart-rendering story!

Warrior Princess

Warrior Princess

3 years ago

Onyinyechi Cosmos yes that is

Onyinyechi Cosmos yes that is the raw reality of this poem it's a real factual experience of child abuse in the childhood years. It is painful and raw, it was done by the parents. Thank you for taking the time to comment and share your thoughts on this piece. I sincerely appreciate it.

Rosewood Apothecary

Rosewood Apothecary

3 years ago

I’m finding your voice

This is my favorite one yet. I think I’m starting to understand the delivery of the lines better as far as timing is concerned. The emotional output is astounding. Look forward to reading more stuff. Sending healing and comfort.

Tim

Geezer

Geezer

3 years ago

While I may not...

make criticisms, I will provide a measure of respect for the voices that you call out with. I am impressed! ~ Geezer.
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Warrior Princess

Warrior Princess

3 years ago

Geeza thank you for sharing

Geeza thank you for sharing your comment, but may I humbly ask for knowledge's sake, what do you mean when you say "you will provide a measure of respect for the voices that you call out with."

Thank much.

Geezer

Geezer

3 years ago

That's exactly...

what I meant! I am not so good at freeverse poetry and sometimes, I mistake how it's being said; but I think that I am pretty good at determining what you said. I like what you have to say! ~ Geezer.
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