Corpse Bride

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Corpse Bride" utilizes vivid imagery and strong emotional language to convey a tragic narrative. The use of specific details, such as "shards of glass embedded in her wrists" and "Blood spatter on white lace," provide a clear and impactful visualization of the scene.

However, the poem might benefit from a more consistent rhythm or meter to enhance its musicality. The lines vary significantly in length, which can disrupt the flow of the poem. Consider revising for a more consistent syllable count or rhythmic pattern.

The narrative of the poem is clear, but the emotional depth could be further explored. The poem tells the reader that the bride is devastated, but it might be more impactful to show this through her actions, thoughts, or feelings. For example, instead of stating "she ran," consider describing her flight in more detail. What does it feel like? What is going through her mind?

The poem also uses a lot of passive voice, which can distance the reader from the action. Consider revising to use more active voice. For example, instead of "shards of glass embedded in her wrists," consider "shards of glass embed themselves in her wrists" or "she embeds shards of glass in her wrists."

Lastly, the poem could benefit from more varied language. The word "smear" is used twice in close proximity, which can be repetitive. Consider using a thesaurus to find synonyms that could add more variety to your language.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

I read this before you changed the title, which I liked. I think you should change it back to "Corpse Bride" that is only a suggestion.. the poem is entrancing... it is solid in imagery and message. my favorite lines are:

He chose her once upon a time,
but once was all it would ever be.
There was someone else
that would always be far greater than she.

*hugs, Cat & eddy styx

Very emotional. I feel pain and betrayal. Just remember that most men are coyotes! Great job!

could you take another look at my poem: Morgan le 'Fey, and see if it needs better punctuation? thank you.

*hugs, Cat

Another enjoyable( if that is the correct word) read. Only bit i really didn't like was the use of the word 'busting'. It didn't seem to hang well with the rest of the narrative. Alex

Just been reading it through a few more times and thinking how I would have like to have written it. Anyway 'busting', I would substitute 'smashing'. We all bust things from time to time but I think smashing gives a more deliberate meaning to the action. A simple word but I feel it gives more urgency to the action. Alex.

with Alex! excellent poem and smashing is cool

*ever, eddy styx

later today. ~ Geez.
.

Somehow, I think that you have made the lines that do not rhyme,
twist about and connect with a subtle chime.
I would, however, look for another word to substitute for hand in one of the two lines
in the last stanza. It may mean that you have to change the line, but I think a fair trade for the smoothing effect, ~ Geez.
.

Again,very emotional poem. As usual Rose you bring about the toughness of life. Great poem!

To me, this cries for a sequel. I think I've been reading eddy styx poetry for too long. At the end of this I am anticipating all this emotion, the shock and betrayal, hardening into the kind of justice that would make eddy proud.