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COTTON'S RUINS
Today I passed a cotton gin
at a crossroads far from town
wearing a metal hide of rusty tin
and sagging sheds near fallen down.
So I pulled just off the road
and took in the surrounding land
of scattered recent hobby farms
and an aging farm house, grand.
In mind's eye I subtracted years
removed pastures and tall pine trees
until gin and farm house stood alone
and cotton poison tainted the breeze.
Now all around was linen white.
Cotton trailers lined up at the gin
as their owners laughed and joked.
I heard the old gears grind within.
Though at the time I was a child
I recall the end of those old days
before present cold corporate farms
and their sterile soulless ways.
I sighed, cranked up, I had to go
for I had miles left yet to ride
still, I thought about the culture lost
when the days of ol' King Cotton died.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Candlewitch
14 years 2 months ago
Dear Scribbler,
Your reminiscence is wonderfully fraught with nostalgia. please don't take any offense when I tell you that the title needs work. Your rhyming is so effortless as to not be noticed. your ideas flow from one line to the next. It was a pleasure to read about this ghost from the past.
always, Cat
scribbler
14 years 2 months ago
Hi Cat
No fair saying that then not suggesting one lol. I wasn't too pleased with title either but haven't thought of a good replacement yet. Thanks for coming by and I never take offense at suggestions..........stan
scribbler
14 years 2 months ago
hi
Had considered leaving it out to begin with. Guess I should have followed instincts, huh?............stan
mand
14 years 2 months ago
Hi Stan
Loved this one! ( not many of yours I don't love ). Flow, rhyming and imagery was brilliant and I loved the subject.
Thanks for sharing your memories Stan
Love Mand xxxxxxxx
scribbler
14 years 2 months ago
hellooooo mandy
Thank you for visiting and leaving such a kind comment...........stan
loved
14 years 2 months ago
I AM glad
so many use my name
LOVED
when they
comment on others
so ur work is forever loved
excuse me
ur the
AEC
scribbler
14 years 2 months ago
Howdy
AEC, not AEC, matters not as I remain the same just with more aggravations lol. Thanks for planting your rose on my page...............scribbler
scribbler
14 years 2 months ago
loved and yenti
I fear my comment may have been misunderstood. The aggravation I refer to is being in AEC. There is no aggravation in hearing from you loved...................stan
Roscoe Lane
14 years 2 months ago
Stan,
Stan, what can i say, well i love the line. In my minds eye i subtracted years. It's something we all do but i could feel this happening as i read your poem. It's your style alone, and very potent. Regards Roscoe..
scribbler
14 years 2 months ago
hi Roscoe
I expect my wife,Susan, would argue against me having Any style lol. I am glad you took time to come by and read this and leave such kind comment.................stan
scribbler
14 years 2 months ago
welcome back
I just try to write what i know and try to make it sound not too bad. It is good to see you come by........stan