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This poem is part of the workshop:

Rhyme Crimes

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couch potato (rhyme crimes exercise 4)

I could go get the pencil but
it really seems I've hit a rut
and kegs of ale I want to quaff
to stop the world, and then get off

I sit here on my lounge-room chair
and think on things like life and stuff
and hope in vain I'll be inspired
one day to wake up just enough
to write words of my own wisdom
if only I could think of some
but it is hard, one cannot bluff
and I am just too doggone tired
'cause sometimes it is just too tough
to think up clever things to share

so here I slop in my jammies
the zombie movie on TV
relaxes me, I'm quite at home
relating to its dead-head zone
.

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Western Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Favourite poets? So many, so varied. I like particular songs, not necessarily the singer... and the same goes for poetry. I can honestly say though, that Alfred Noyes' The Highwayman was what inspired my love of poetry - my mother began reading it to me when I was still a baby, and it became my favourite bedtime story

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Comments

Rula

Rula

12 years 11 months ago

This is indeed light

but with a 'distinguished' rhyme scheme .I loved how you did the first couplets and then you did the reversed rhyming abcd , dcba . This sure can't be done by someone who isn't inspired or by a "couch potato." :) very much enjoyed .

judyanne

judyanne

12 years 11 months ago

thank you rula

just a bit of fun to finish off the workshop
i'm glad you like it
love judy
xxx

S

scribbler

12 years 11 months ago

Hi Judy

Only you would manage to get watching zombie movies on TV into a poem lol. Unless I misread and the show was a political debate lmao.....................stan

judyanne

judyanne

12 years 11 months ago

lol stan

hadn't thought of pollies - i might have had even more fun building on that theme...
thanks for the read and comment
love judy
xxx

weirdelf

weirdelf

12 years 10 months ago

oh that first verse hit home

and is the death of many a poet.

Well I reckon you nailed exercise 4 in despair. There are things to crit, but I think you would rather I saved it for something that meant more to you.

judyanne

judyanne

12 years 10 months ago

thanks jess

and yes - not worth bothering with, just a bit of fun to finish the shop with
love judy xxx