scribbler

Apr 09, 2013 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

COUNTING SPRINGS

There is no warmth outside today
when ice and sleet cover the ground
beneath a freezing sky of gray
whose cold winds set the pines to sway.
No hints of autumn to be found.

For this is winter at its worst
no thoughts of spring come into mind
shoulders hunch, cold lips are pursed
I survey a landscape that seems cursed
a world described, at best, unkind.

And now I top a final hill,
more chore than joy found in this walk.
I'm lucky not taking a spill
tripped by vine beside the tiny rill
or by a gimpy knee's cold balk.

I look about the bleak surroundings
and think of how all seasons end
All winters always lead to springs
but as things always lead to things
one day I'll feel my last cold wind.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost, Burns, Longfellow, Poe, and Johnson. I guess you've noticed these are all past masters. Other than folks on site I don't read any contemporary poets .

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Bonitaj

12 years 3 months ago

Stan!

first impressions... Wow! On many levels... Liked the title and how you tied that in at the end. Having just come back from the cold Mid Western USA, I can actually relate to your piece very well and it conjured up those very images you so aptly describe in verse 1.
Good work!
Boni

scribbler

12 years 3 months ago

Hi Boni

I actually wrote this in the depth of winter then couldn't come up with a title until today as the world is blossoming and life is thriving lol. I am pleased the secondary level is not too hard to find and doubly pleased that you think the title fits...............stan

loved

12 years 3 months ago

you now seem to be taking ...poetry classes

you now seem to be taking ...
poetry classes

as titles you choose confuse
you said springs
I thought of a couch
how it would spring

then was amazed to see
the natural spring ,
no not of fountains rivers and streams
but those with which nature does spring

you are one great one
sometimes you count dawns ...
now springs
are you adept at seasonal abacus
my why do I have to fuss

you really meant the spring
after autumn
skip winter ....

scribbler

12 years 3 months ago

hi loved

I expect I Need classes but I'll just keep on slowly soaking stuff up here lol. Bed springs huh? Well........we know where your mind stays lmao..............stan

loved

12 years 3 months ago

lolololol

you are one sport
I admire
Stan

Seren

12 years 3 months ago

Stan

Its gotten colder the last few days Autumn is on her way, Now to your write there was a feeling of starkness that pervaded all through the poem and that ending is just perfect

well done

love JC x

scribbler

12 years 3 months ago

hi

Hopefully the starkness related to and reinforced the secondary level of this scribble. We have yet to go through "blackberry winter" here so not all cool weather is behind us. Appreciate the visit..........stan

Josephus

12 years 3 months ago

A hint of Frost

This is a very well written poem that is reminiscent of Frost is some ways.

Joe

scribbler

12 years 3 months ago

Hi Joe

Always good to see somebody new drop in. I just Wish something of mine will be recalled as long as any of Frost's poems lol................stan

Ian.T

12 years 3 months ago

Stan

Loved the feel of the cutting cold and the thought of Spring when it arrives Maybe??... Yours Ian.T

scribbler

12 years 3 months ago

Hi Ian

There comes an age when we all become aware that there's much more journey behind us than will ever be ahead of us. Kinda makes me more appreciative of the days or years left..............stan

Ian.T

12 years 3 months ago

Stan

The journey ahead can always be better than the one we have completed, it depends on the one that takes up the journey.
Yours As always Ian.T

scribbler

12 years 3 months ago

Hi Ian

Guess I was not clear that I was talking about Time. I approach 6 decades. It would be foolish to expect more than 2-3 more. But............with luck, the time I have left can be quality.........stan

Ian.T

12 years 3 months ago

Stan

I just reached three score and ten with a bonus year, so pretty please no more 2-3 more decades from sixty it makes me think I cant live for ever lol.
You enjoy every day young man, I married again at 61 I passed my driving test for a car at around 62 flew to Aussie from here 27 hours flying at 70 there is no end as yet I am looking for a sport to do like hang gliding but I hear that you have to let go of your Zimmer frame on take off lol, Yours as always Ian.T.