One

Mar 19, 2022 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

This poem is part of the challenge:

Crawl

You kicked dust in my face when I was already beat
I forced my way to the top
then you let go and let me drop

You spat blood in my face when I was already down
I pushed myself to the top
then you let go and made me drop

On my broken hands and bloodied knees
I return to you like a persistent disease
With bloodied fingers and a broken wrist
I send you a gift from my hate filled fist

You kicked mud at my face when I was already beat
I worked my way to the sky
then you let go and let me slide

The higher I climb the deeper I fall
The deeper I fall the steeper my crawl
The higher I climb the longer I fall
The longer I fall the steeper my crawl

You spat hate at my face when I was already down
I launched myself to the sky
then you let go and let me slide

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: UK, GBR

Favorite Poets: Candlewitch, Eddy Styx, Ziggy

Comments

Geezer

3 years 3 months ago

a matter of perspective. What is it they say? "Discretion is the better part of valor"? I firmly believe that instead of getting beat to a bloody pulp, when I know I can't possibly win, that I should retreat. I understand the way you have projected the humiliation and managed to bring it to the page. Nice work. ~ Geez.
.

One

3 years 3 months ago

Gee

Well, you know me, I write raw & call it as I see it..I like to exaggerate the theme sometimes for effect.

Appreciate you reading & commenting,

regards

One

Candlewitch

3 years 3 months ago

dear One,

my favorite lines are:

The higher I climb the deeper I fall
The deeper I fall the steeper my crawl
The higher I climb the longer I fall
The longer I fall the steeper my crawl

this piece of work sounds like a wonderful song that, I think, anyone would be able to relate to. I've been there too, and I like this very much. I think this could be a winner in a lyrics contest!

*warm hugs, Cat

One

3 years 3 months ago

Sis,

I am thinking of making this a song but of late I've only written & not produced any new music. Maybe my return to Neo will inspire me to create these into actual songs.

I await a lyric writing workshop.

regards

One

Candlewitch

3 years 2 months ago

dear One,

I await a lyric writing workshop.

make your wants into a Suggestion!!! talk to Mark about it or suggest it directly! I'll join in.

love, Sis

One

3 years 2 months ago

Sis,

when I was AEC chair, I did indeed run a lyric writing workshop. Can't recall if you attended, I remember Jess & Lou were in it. In fact I think I was in charge of Workshops too. Jess was my deputy.

Oh the good old days.

One.

Candlewitch

3 years 2 months ago

I think...

it is time to do it again!

love, Sis

Candlewitch

3 years 2 months ago

was I...

busy with my knee surgeries at that time?

Geezer

3 years 1 month ago

In this comment, we have seen

In this comment, we have seen that you have run a workshop in the past.
Indeed, we have not had a workshop in quite some time.
Would you be interested in running a workshop?
Lyrics seem to be a good thing to do. Let us know. ~ The cabinet.
Paul, Mark, and Guy.
.

One

3 years 1 month ago

Removed

Candlewitch

3 years 1 month ago

my dear One,

is there some way that you can sit down with Geezer and iron it out, to be sure he has meant to insult you? if he has, I will support you in your decisions.

*Love, Sis