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May 22, 2011
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cruel ~ (Explicit Content)
there's a cruel edge
to your steel-blue eyes
and your poems slither off
your tongue
who do you make love to
when you're not fucking me
from behind, that's your
way, i've gotten used to it,
your dogged determination
to take me as i am,
poet! if you meant half the things
for which you always seem to find
the perfect word, you'd be a better man.
and i, poetess, would write myself another
lifetime, you'd be the dessication i leave behind,
still wondering which door was slammed
in the dawning of my rage,
you'd see this poem burning though a hundred thousand
raven, insect and angel incarnations
dancing on my poem's flatlined page
my last kiss just like that,
i'd wrap you in a cocoon of white lies,
dripping with my fury
the sting will be yours
to remember
as long
as the dandelion thrusts through this unyielding sky,
softly bending the curve of space of all that has
come between us.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: a little poetic license, a little real-life fury
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
magics02
14 years 2 months ago
Ditto
Anna
It is Sunday morning here and the world did not end, may I ditto you on this one. No crit just the words were enough ringing in my ears. A good way to express of a little real life fury. I have to say this is good here these four lines
and i, poetess, would write myself another
lifetime, you'd be the dessication i leave behind,
still wondering which door was slammed
in the dawning of my rage,
On with the day. Good fury Anna
Spirit of Peace
Mona
raj
14 years 2 months ago
Anna
the rage is absolutely perceptible in this write,..the words seem to have caught fire...
Rottiestyl
14 years 2 months ago
BRAVO!
YES! Defiance, not willing to accept the"back door" approach. Come at me face to face!!!! don't be a coward, don't hide behind what you think is a mindless skin bag. You SOOOOOOOO, nailed this one. In your face and standing tall. I didn't like this Mona, I friggin LOVED IT! YES! Rebel on poet!!
magics02
14 years 2 months ago
Yes Rottie
I forgot to mention I loved it to for it's angst and its fury was all over the place but spot on it was. Good job Anna
vexations10
14 years 2 months ago
I consider this a near
perfect squelch. Had I been the one to receive this wrath I would feel the bluntness of the blow. I do think that, like most statements of rage you could put a sharper point to the ending.
the sting will be yours
to remember
as long (I think here your point softens) (the words are elegant but I find it hard to believe someone telling me to f..k off would talk of dandelions. Nonetheless one of the better poems posted here of late in my opinion.)
as the dandelion thrusts through this unyielding sky,
softly bending the curve of space of all that has
come between us.
Kailashana2
14 years 2 months ago
Thanks everyone for reading
Thanks everyone for reading my little *tirade*. it felt so good, I even had a cigarette afterwards.
"Anger on steroids." rofl. I'll have to remember that.
~A
p.s. The reference comes from the dandelion avatar that I use on occasion. Like now.