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Sep 05, 2022
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cry for me
How could you say you love me? But you haven't wept.
How can you smile and look at me dazed when I want to see your heart fall apart.
I want to build you up, and give you hope. Then take me away from you.
I want to feel like a prize
I want to see you shut down from your loss of me.
I want your hope to embody me.
I want to see you in pain.
I want that pain to be because of me.
How else would I know you love me?
How can you say you love me?
Yet you have never lost me?
You have never gotten angry for me.
It's easy to smile.
It's easy to laugh.
You can do that with nearly anybody. Its easy to fake.
I want to see you act out of character.
I want to be the one to make you break.
I want to see you feel uncontrollable anger.
I want to feel that anger radiate off your body.
I want to be scared.
Scared of your love for me.
Terrified of the overwhelming feelings you hold.
If not?
How could you say you love me?
About This Poem
Last Few Words: it's about someone needing to feel like they have a power over their "lovers" full emotions, like they truly tie them together. how do y'all feel about it?
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Lavender
3 years 1 month ago
cry for me
Greetings, Layne' Vera,
If I'm reading your extra comments correctly, expressing the need for someone to have full power over someone's emotions, it feels to me you have succeeded. This is quite the list of overpowering wishes and extreme wants. But it does make a passionate poetry statement. I look forward to your next post!
Thank you!
L