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Cupiditas Mundi v

Venus is beautiful
Second only
To my beloved

An earthly flower
Which blooms
At the foothills of Helicon

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Though this poem is a romance between earthly lovers and the beloved is deemed more alluring and intellectually compelling in thoughts and connections of the mind than the goddess of love. Mount Helicon is believed to be the seat of poetry and birth place of the Nine Muses

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: The Celestial River

Favorite Poets: Shane MacGowan, Dylan Thomas, Qays ibn Al-Mulawwah, Wallada bint al-Mustakfi, Rumi, Khalil Gibran, Yona Wallach, Arthur Rimbaud, Paul Eluard, Brendan Behan, James Clarence Mangan, William Blake, Tom Waits, Charles Bukowski, Forough Farrokhzad, Thomas Chatterton

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Comments

neopoet

neopoet

5 months 3 weeks ago

Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The imagery in your poem is vivid and evocative, particularly in the comparison between Venus and your beloved as well as the description of an earthly flower blooming at the foothills of Helicon. However, the brevity of the poem leaves the reader wanting more depth and exploration of the emotions and connections being conveyed. Consider expanding on your themes and delving deeper into the feelings you are trying to express to create a more impactful and engaging piece.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Lavender

Lavender

5 months 3 weeks ago

Cupiditas Mundi v

Hello, John,
I tried to translate this intriguing title... I found the Latin translation: desire, worldly. (?)
This is quite lovely. I am wondering if it truly speaks of a love for a person, or possibly for the love of poetry and your muse. I always learn so much about Greek mythology from your work, yet still know so little. I feel the loyalty and devotion to the "earthly flower" and the tenderness blooming / blossoming.
I'll return after you respond!
Thank you!
L

D

Dalton

5 months 3 weeks ago

Hi Lavender

I guess it’s a loose translation from the Latin Lust of the World. Venus goddess of love, beauty and physical desire considered less attractive and intellectually compelling than an earthly mortal bride. Many of my mythological poems Venus/Afroditi is incapable of understanding deep human emotions only the designer of the wicked games she plays though according to myth she did fall in love with the mortal Adonis and upon his death demanded mortal women rend their mantles beat their breasts. I see it as though we’re dealing with myth mortals have the true understanding of emotion as part of our short lived nature. Mount Helicon is believed to be the seat of poetry homeplace of the Nine Muses. At its heart this is a romance which seeks connection to a mortal bride whom the speaker the I within the poem sees his beloved as more beautiful to the goddess who is second only to her.

Lavender

Lavender

5 months 3 weeks ago

HI, John,

Yes! It helps very much! I think my issue is I'm never certain to interpret poetry dedicated to legend literally, or in the spirit of mythology. It's always a learning experience for me. I look up and study more while reading your poetry, but still find myself weak in connecting the relationships and meanings. (But I will keep trying!) It is beautiful, extremely romantic and poetic, and an extraordinary literary art.
Thank you!
L

D

Dalton

5 months 3 weeks ago

Hi Lavender

I think it’s hard to yield much depth into so small a poem with few anchor images or details but that’s the project I’m attempting right now to perfect that craft the most concisely I can. Of course I’m enjoying the process and absorbing a lot of classical poetry which helps lubricate my thoughts xxx

Lavender

Lavender

5 months 3 weeks ago

I imagine

someone who has as much knowledge about mythology as you would understand completely. Even without the full understanding, I'm taken by the language and nature of the poem. Thank you for your education with this - can one really get a full experience and history of poetry without delving into Greek mythology? I'm thinking not. :)
Lx

D

Dalton

5 months 3 weeks ago

Hi Lavender

I agree but I think it’s interesting to explore all worlds mythologies and also belief systems. I think to be a poet or any kind of artist it’s important to cultivate your craft from every angle of learning (except maths maybe lol) thanks for your interesting input xxx