Cupiditas Mundi xix

If there were
A Roman Orpheus

He would know
My pain

I lost my soul
As he lost his wife

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: The Celestial River

Favorite Poets: Shane MacGowan, Dylan Thomas, Qays ibn Al-Mulawwah, Wallada bint al-Mustakfi, Rumi, Khalil Gibran, Yona Wallach, Arthur Rimbaud, Paul Eluard, Brendan Behan, James Clarence Mangan, William Blake, Tom Waits, Charles Bukowski, Forough Farrokhzad, Thomas Chatterton

Comments

neopoet

5 months 2 weeks ago

Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Cupiditas Mundi xix" evokes a sense of longing and loss through the comparison to a Roman Orpheus. The reference to Orpheus, a figure from Greek mythology who famously journeyed to the underworld to retrieve his wife, adds depth to the speaker's emotional turmoil. The brevity of the poem enhances its impact, focusing on the core emotions of pain and soul-crushing loss. Consider expanding on the imagery or exploring the speaker's feelings in more detail to further engage the reader and create a richer emotional landscape. Additionally, providing more context or specific details could help strengthen the connection between the speaker's experience and the mythological reference.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Geezer

5 months 2 weeks ago

I am...

impressed with all the meaning hidden herewith in this piece. ~ Geezer.
.

Lavender

5 months 2 weeks ago

Cupiditas Mundi xix

Hello, John,
Hmm... is this hinting that the narrator looked back on his lost soul? Remorseful feelings?
I'll be back after you respond.
Thank you!
L

Dalton

5 months 1 week ago

Dear Lavender

The Orpheus reference speaks of the myth of the greatest musician son of Apollo amongst whose attributes is the art of poetry. He lost his wife to death gaining access to the underworld to retrieve her on the proviso that he not look back on her until they were back on the terra firma of human ground. Of course he could not resist and gazed upon her and he lost her forever. In my poem the loss of one’s soul is akin to the loss of one’s wife. I’ve been reading of Empress Messalina bride of Emperor Claudius lately she bigamously married a nobleman Gaius Silius with thought to usurp her first husbands position and gain ultimate power. So it’s coloured by that. Another in the series suggests “even in hell she is an Empress” maybe garbled thoughts but that’s where it all surfaced from hope some of that makes sense

Dalton

5 months 1 week ago

Hi Lavender

Please read latest episode xxvii

Dalton

5 months 1 week ago

Hi Lavender

I’ve just submitted a selected few from the cycle here not all of them to read more please try reading from All Poetry another poetry site I’m affiliated to under the pen name Fallen Minstrel xxx