Ross Hamilton Hill

Nov 25, 2012 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Cursed

In the spinning of the blade,
a superseding wish for gain.
In lieu of noble sentiments,
a list of new ingredients.

The jolly round is passed on by.
A jeroboam of bubbles lie.
Grail like drinks are fortified
by angel’s breath and Gorgon’s tied

into a Mandelbrot bootlace
of needing more but saving face.
Poised pen and poisoned inks;
lots of love, heart breaks and sinks.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Sydney, New South Wales, Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Dylan Thomas, T.S Eliot, Stevie Smith, Chaucer, Shakespeare, Marvell, Herbert, Gerald Manley Hopkins, Rilke, Holderlin, Baudelaire, Verlaine, Rimbaud, Valery, Gregory Corso, Alan Ginsberg, Phillip Larkin, Elizabeth Bishop, Wordsworth, Shelley, Keats, Yeats, Ferlinghetti, Tony Hoagland, Ezra Pound, Joni Mitchell, Bob Dylan, Leonard Cohen, Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Browning, Petra Whiteley, Blake, Thomas Hardy, Syvia Plath, Pablo Naruda, Lorca, Cole Porter, A.E Cummings, Walt whitman, Tennyson, Shelley, Byron, Coleridge, Les Murray, Gig Ryan, Edward Dorn, Emily Dickinson, Robert Frost, Seamus Heaney.

Comments

wesley snow

12 years 11 months ago

Ah, I loved it until...

... "lol". I hate computer/cell phone shortcuts.

Ross Hamilton Hill

12 years 11 months ago

now Wes

I whole poem came in a rush, without thinking, but lol crept in there because my ex on f'book asked what it means, 'laughing out loud' or 'lots of love' so I liked the barbed double entendre.

Ian.T

12 years 11 months ago

LOL

Just ask David Cameron the UK's Prime minister LOL.
Yours Sparrow..

Geezer

12 years 11 months ago

I can see...

what you are saying in retrospect, it just didn't translate well. Maybe you could use: "laughing out love"? ~ Gee

Ross Hamilton Hill

12 years 11 months ago

Hi Gee

not being a texter myself I had no idea how much lol annoyed people, shall edit it out.
thanks for commenting
Ross

weirdelf

12 years 11 months ago

Really clever and elegantly written.

but Ross, oh Ross, that lol sucks.
I really would use words instead, lol is mostly meaningless even in text context. Nobody is really laughing out loud or giving lots of love when they type those three letters like a reflex. You could use a whole poem commenting on its meaninglessness.

Otherwise, yes, I really like this piece.

Ross Hamilton Hill

12 years 11 months ago

Hi Jess

thanks for your comment, as I said to Geezer I had no idea 'lol' was such an annoyance. Shall edit it out.
cheers
ross

weirdelf

12 years 11 months ago

oh yes, much better

it was such a distraction I couldn't see the poem as a whole.

into a Mandelbrot bootlace

magnificent line!

Thanks for this, I've been going through one of my periodic allergies to poetry and this has restored the faith. It belongs in the "Mindful and Meaningful" workshop with its close rhyme and near structure.

Ross Hamilton Hill

12 years 11 months ago

glad

you liked it

wesley snow

12 years 11 months ago

What about a workshop...

... producing poetry by using only text shortcuts?

Not that I'm offering to lead it, of course.

Ross Hamilton Hill

12 years 11 months ago

gr8

if you can find a texter who's interested

Ian.T

12 years 11 months ago

Wesley

Now come on I have never texted anyone and the bastardisation of English is bad enough world wide, without having a workshop on the bassist language yet.
Our children are beginning to talk that way and here we are trying to improve poetry.
There will be no need for syllable counts as each text will be in single syllables anyway.
We will make you do the workshop for suggesting it lol, Yenti, Ian.T
Or swamp in Aborigine.....

Seren

12 years 11 months ago

Dear Ross

This is a really good write I guess I came after the talk of 'lol' ? smile Jess took me to task about 'lol' I only use it now when I actually laugh out loud !

into a Mandelbrot bootlace --- love this line

sigh I cannot offer anything but a kudos

love Jayne-Chloe x

Ross Hamilton Hill

12 years 11 months ago

thanks JC

like you 'lol' doesn't have bad connotations for me as I don't text, though see nothing wrong with it, lol is like asap, nice alliteration.
glad you liked the poem
ross