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This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoem Of The Week July 2nd to 9th 2022

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Cursed lullaby

The porch light comes on
She is not at home
Lost in a story of horrors untold
Passed down
Generation to Generation
Around the fire they shared
Tales of olde winters
Lullaby curse
A fisherman’s nightmare
his wife’s worst fear.
Adventures of freedom
Riches and gold
He buys wine and a boat
Prepares a crew
Kissed his wife
Reminded his son to remember his place
Not knowing the fisherman’s fate
Lullaby of the cursed
Drift into deep
Siren songs of hypnotic sweet
Filling the heads of all men aboard
Blonde hair and blue eyes
Faces of Goddess
Hides sinister souls and a heart of darkness
Sick desire with deadly lust
Mind-blowing kisses unable to breathe
I find my siren queen.
Lullabies of the cursed rang out
Eighty years was how long she was able to wait
Held up by hope
Drinking to cope with being alone
Betrayals never known
Her deaf ears never able to hear
Curses sang by a Queen
The porch light is on
Hopefully;
Cursed souls find home

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

More from this author

Comments

Geezer

Geezer

2 years 12 months ago

Sorry...

This is very difficult to read after the lines:

"Lullaby curse", I don't get the connections between
A fisherman's nightmare
his wife's worst fear.

Is my interpretation of this piece correct?

I think that a person made the purchase of
a boat, and his wife fearing that
the lure of riches and gold would take him from her, either
through some misadventure or his thirst for adventure taking him,
and he just would not come back.
Now, not knowing his fate, she sits and drinks
and keeps the light on for him in case he ever comes home.
Sorry that this poem is not that intelligible.

I like the story, but you have to make the lines connect better.
~ Geezer.
.

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

2 years 12 months ago

hello,

it starts out okay, but does not follow through.

always, Cat

RoseBlack

RoseBlack

2 years 11 months ago

I am confused

There seems to be multiple stories going on. I get a sense of fisherman going out to make his living and perhaps for one reason or another he doesn't return. Or it seems said fisherman is lured by a lover, an affair in which he chooses to abandon his family. I don't understand the lines she is not at home. Who isn't at home because at the end it says she waited, drinking to cope with the abandonment? It sounds like she left a light on hoping he would return. It was hard to read and follow as I wasn't sure what was happening.

Jackweb

Jackweb

2 years 11 months ago

I paused while reading..

and wondering, LULLABY CURSE!!! but couldn't catch up the whole scenario in the poem. The ambiguity of the poem allows several interpretations. I agree with the three above comments.

I'm sorry, what ultimately makes a poem bad is the failure of a writer is to convey that deep and moving experience to his reader that led him to write the poem.

Ray Whitaker

Ray Whitaker

2 years 11 months ago

Liked this

A lot. The towards the end of it lines rang true to me the mosr:

“ Eighty years was how long she was able to wait
Held up by hope
Drinking to cope with being alone.”

My only suggestion to do would be to put a pause in places with a stanza break along the way, to allow the reader.

Nice piece.