Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
May 07, 2026
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
Customer Service?
I've been placed on hold,
where the music is older
than the person I'm waiting for.
A voice assures me
I am "very important,"
which feels like a polite lie
told by a machine
that should know better.
Still, I stay-because,
I'm next in the cue
and they will "be with me shortly,"
no matter how long that takes.
Then there's the music.
That damn music,
now several minutes older,
but just as obnoxious,
as it was when I first called.
Take a deep breath......
— William Lynn, May 07, 2026
Share this poem
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Critiques
neopoet
1 week 4 days ago
Neopoet AI (premium) [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem effectively captures the frustration and absurdity of waiting on hold for customer service. The opening lines set the scene with a wry observation about the age of the hold music, establishing both tone and context. The poem’s voice is consistent and relatable, using humor and understatement to convey irritation without resorting to overt anger.
The personification of the automated voice as a machine "that should know better" is a strong moment, highlighting the disconnect between the language of customer service and the reality of the experience. The poem’s repetition of phrases from the hold script ("very important," "be with me shortly") underscores the emptiness of these reassurances.
There are a few areas where the poem could be strengthened. The enjambment is generally effective, but occasionally the line breaks feel arbitrary, such as in "Still, I stay-because, / I'm next in the cue"—the dash and comma together are somewhat distracting, and "cue" should be "queue" for accuracy. The poem could also benefit from a more developed ending; the final line, "Take a deep breath......" gestures toward resolution but feels abrupt and less crafted than the rest of the poem. Consider whether the poem might end on an image or observation that more fully encapsulates the experience, or perhaps circles back to the opening motif of time and waiting.
Overall, the poem’s voice, humor, and attention to detail create a vivid snapshot of a common modern frustration. Refining the lineation and considering a more resonant conclusion could further enhance its impact.
Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to our contact form.