Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Feb 05, 2025
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
Cut Down Tree
The birds still fly north every winter
They know where to go
And they still make it back in time
For spring, every year
There's a story out in the west
About a bird who flew a thousand miles
North before every winter
And still made it back
To the same tree
One day when he returned
He found his tree cut down
For such, is life
Now, I'm thinking of the birds
And of every winter I've endured
Broken and battered
Because I could not fly away
But even if I could
I doubt I would know where to go
There are no more songs to sing
No more stories to tell
The birds have already flown north
Winter is almost here
And I fear for my soul
A. SWANTALALA
About This Poem
Last Few Words: I live in the southern hemisphere so birds fly north here to escape winter. Just to clarify for my northern hemisphere friends
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
4 months 3 weeks ago
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Cut Down Tree" explores themes of loss, resilience, and the passage of time through the metaphor of birds migrating and returning to a tree that has been cut down. The imagery of the birds flying north every winter and the bird who flew a thousand miles only to find its tree gone evokes a sense of longing and impermanence. The poem effectively conveys a sense of melancholy and reflection on the inevitability of change.
One suggestion for improvement would be to further develop the emotional depth of the speaker's personal reflections. While the imagery of the birds and the cut down tree is poignant, delving deeper into the speaker's feelings of loss and uncertainty could enhance the impact of the poem. Additionally, considering varying the structure or rhythm of the poem to create a more dynamic flow could further engage the reader and emphasize the themes being explored.
Overall, "Cut Down Tree" offers a thoughtful exploration of loss and resilience, and further exploration of the speaker's emotions and experimenting with the
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Rula
4 months 3 weeks ago
Awesome
use of simile. Bittersweet and compelling in a way. I enjoyed it all through.
Thank you for sharing.
Trail
4 months 3 weeks ago
Rula
I seem to draw inspiration from nature and delve into introspection from there. I'm glad you enjoyed reading my poem. Thank you
Lavender
4 months 2 weeks ago
Cut Down Tree
Hello, Trail,
I agree, a beautiful simile. "...For such is life..." A solemn ending, deep and introspective.
Thank you,
L
Trail
4 months 1 week ago
For such is life
You're too kind L. Thank you
Leslie
4 months 2 weeks ago
trail
I remember your poetry well. It's always fresh and new, but please don't give in to your feeling of hoplessness. You've got too much to offer and everyone here needs to listen to your wisdom.Your thoughts and meaninng are needed so much here send me a pm if you get the time! Good luck and God speed , may He perpetuate your thoughts throughout time and into the great afterlife! I hope that we meet there we've got so much to talk about, take care of yourself and please keep writing. Good bye for now, but I'll be looking for many more of your beautiful poems!
Trail
4 months 1 week ago
Leslie
I use poetry to process some of this so that it doesn't overpower me. Some of those poems I end up sharing here coz it's something I think there are others who could relate.
Thank you for your love and support my friend. I promise you I'm too far from giving up. There are a lot more Trail poems coming