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Nov 12, 2012
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C...Y...N...I...K...
come to you
pouring like lashed thoughts
hot cedar sweats in steam rooms
tears of a dove falling
like the cloistered frost tanks steam
climbing
a hiss in sleep
gathered like a white wound
the bow of wings
in a shroud
while snowflakes nestle
the dark brows like shadows
neath a trestle
usher rush starts
like water
turning in its thoughts
purity
in the cold
secure as the band
of gold
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Ross Hamilton Hill
12 years 11 months ago
a rush of images
some work for me, the more grounded, eg a hiss in sleep others don't eg tears of dove, too symbolist and melodramatic. also the rhymed ending seemed a little pat,
still it cracks along,
nice to read poems set in winter white, nearly short shorts summer here.
Esker
12 years 11 months ago
Mellow Romantic
Winter is not quite here
but arriving one day
"Winter White" I like that
thank you
Race_9togo
12 years 11 months ago
Well well,
I poke my head in after six long months, just to peek at what's happening, and...
...caught again in timelessness.
Ah
I'd forgotten the effect your words have on me.
I think I'll write some more myself, now.
Thank you for such beauty.
Esker
12 years 11 months ago
Six months..
nice to see you again Jim
looking forward to reading your work
Thank You!
BettyBuff
12 years 11 months ago
Words like gossamer...
So delicate, like snowflakes...dancing images. 'Cloistered'...fabulous word. Taken as a whole, the idea of cynical words, hot and angry are tempered by the coolness and clarity of nature. Your poetry moves me. I have an emotional response to it.
'Betty' aka Ellie
Esker
12 years 11 months ago
I try to include at times that where I find a grounding
I know poets throughout the eons have too
Its in the poetry here
the walks written of by many
that I read
up here one cannot miss it
our urban forests
the creeks left open and not
covered over with false tubes
to gain extra ground space
When I was and or am angry
I tend to slow down
to cool down
look aside and then I see
the things I need to see
that are right there anyway all
along
Its like the natural ability to write
I can flush it and try to keep up
by running..to match it and I always
ended up falling
had to fall a lot to eventually get it
to master that
which I have now
I am moved by your words Betty
one has to have an intellectual capacity
for recieving the understanding of a work
and then the social calm earned
probably or perhaps by the calamity of
white waters
trial by fire
Thank you Ellie!
Seren
12 years 11 months ago
Dear Steven
Your words weave through our hearts and souls
drawing us into your world, your imagery is stunning
Bravo(again)
love JC x
Esker
12 years 11 months ago
drawing in
Well I am an artist...just a sketchy kind of fellow (ha ha)
I am happy Jayne that you still find my poems worthy
I remember the old Neopoet times..thank god there are archives
and they put them up.Damned nice people here!
If I feel Im going to write I want it to be something unique and
interesting to remain with the reader
thats just me...Like my sketchs I put something original
and of myself into them
perhaps as you write of your heart
and your soul
I put that into my poetry too
Thank You very much JC