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Punkyfrewster
Mar 10, 2025 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoet Weekly 03/09/25 to 03/15/25

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Daffodils

Narcissus turns
to sunrise
showing that Spring
is rounding the corner.
The hope of
new beginnings
is following
on its tail.

The tall stalks
surround the lake
without a care
in sight
are bobbing
their heads,
seeming to
want a sip
of the blue
water.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Kentucky, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allen Poe, Maya Angelou, Emily Dickenson

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Comments

neopoet

neopoet

3 months 2 weeks ago

Neopoet AI - version 2.0

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The imagery in your poem "Daffodils" effectively captures the essence of spring and new beginnings. The use of personification with Narcissus turning to the sunrise adds depth to the poem. However, there are some areas where the flow of the poem could be improved.

There are a few typos and misspellings that disrupt the reading experience, such as "bobbinb" instead of "bobbing" and "seemim" instead of "seeming." Additionally, the line "are bobbinb their heads" seems incomplete and could benefit from further clarification or expansion.

Consider revisiting the structure of the poem to ensure consistency in punctuation and line breaks. This will help enhance the overall coherence and impact of your piece. Keep refining your imagery and word choice to create a more vivid and engaging portrayal of the daffodils.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Geezer

Geezer

3 months 2 weeks ago

I fully agree...

with the AI on this one. I have a vision of the daffodils, looking as though they would like to bob their heads to drink from the lake, but the numerous typos and lax spelling make it feel as though it is bumpy. ~ Geez.
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