Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
May 01, 2016
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
Dangling on the pavement
Let the hope drive you forward
that she may one day see you
dangling there on the pavement
an ice-cream in each hand
your semi frozen gifts melting
in anticipation.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Let's call it a short western meditation on unrequited love. I think everyone can relate to that feeling. This came from a memory of Scarborough, a misread sign, and being stood up. One for all the jilted nerds of the world!
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Esker
8 years 11 months ago
like wind and rain and sun
They come and go
comely..plain janes
and exotic beauty..
We keep going
knowing
there will always
be the new
anewed
arriving
....
judyanne
8 years 10 months ago
lol
I shouldn't laugh I suppose, but the vision I get with my read of this makes me smile...
I guess you will probably say that I am as unkind as that lady in your past...
Really well written Chris.... short and clever....
love the image of someone 'dangling on the pavement' ... great usage of 'dangling'
Reminds me of past days of my own youth - lol - I did a lot of 'dangling' back then
Love judy
xxx
vandiemenspeak
8 years 10 months ago
Glad you saw the funny side..
Yes, it was intended as an ironic and humorous little scene, of the awkwardness and nervous sense felt when you're there, she's not there (and obviously not coming:/ ) and you've been left "dangling" - one day I'll get over it ;) - thanks for stopping by.
Take care
Chris.