Leslie

Dec 19, 2024 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Dark Train Ride

I'm taking a long black train
coming along with dark rain.
It's pouring down profusely
I won't take this abuse.

I'm looking for lightning
to bury my pain.
I don't think
I'll be here again.

To this place where
my real suffering began.
I'll bury my weapons
deep in my brain.

Confront the demons
again and again,
but it might never negate
all the pain.

My enemies surround me,
but they can't do a damned thing.
They're lifeless and impotent
with little to gain.

They try to control and constrain.
If I let them it may conquer my faith,
but I won't let that happen again.
I'll just wait and ride through that rain!

Then start a new life
where the feeling is clean.
Then find a rebirth
to reclaim!

About This Poem

Last Few Words: The condition I face is insane. It's not depression it is oppression. I knew this would happen one day!

Review Request Direction: Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Ogden, Utah, USA

Favorite Poets: Jon Anderson, Jon Ondrasik, Donald Fagen, Sting, Eric Bloom , and all of the poets at neo.

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Comments

Rula

6 months 2 weeks ago

Hello Leslie

Seems like you're facing a lot. I know you have faith, so hopefully nothing is going to defeat your heart.
Your writing shines as always despite the pain. You never fail to uplift your readers' spirits despite everything.
Keep them coming!
I always appreciate sharing your thoughts.

Leslie

6 months 2 weeks ago

Rula

I appreciate your comment. The situation seems to me, very grave, but I know that I'm able to push right through and be safe.Thanks again and I pray things are okay where you are. Thanks again John!!!

Geezer

6 months 2 weeks ago

Like Rula...

I am impressed with your resiliency, your fortitude. I know that you are brave and strong, so I expect the best from you, as always, good stuff, ~ Geez.
.

Leslie

6 months 2 weeks ago

Sir G

Thanks for the vote of confidence! You're a good friend.

Lavender

6 months 2 weeks ago

Dark Train Ride

Hello, John,
Wonderfully written. I'm so glad you have your poetry to help not only yourself, but your readers, too. Indeed a dark train ride, but a strong last stanza offering hope.
Thank you,
L

Ruby Lord

6 months 2 weeks ago

Hi John, thank you for

Hi John, thank you for sharing your powerful poem. The imagery of the train and the rain is striking, capturing the emotional weight and the strength it takes to push through. The closing lines are uplifting, full of hope and the promise of a fresh start. Keep writing and sharing. Your words hold such strength and resonate deeply with me. You’re not alone.

Ruby xxx :)

Leslie

6 months 2 weeks ago

L

Thank you for your time.

Thank you for yourmr

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Thank you for your comment. I'm glad you like the poem. Your comments always cheer me up. I hope you have a merry christmas.