Race_9togo

Nov 09, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Daughter

Full of dreams
becoming real,
her life reveals itself
in tiny gleaming wonders
sparkling jewel-like
from our talks,

for when doubt rises
from painful awareness
of adulthood new-acquired
I am whom she seeks
to find the answers
that she thinks
she needs,

and when she talks
I listen,
astonished at this woman
my child has become,
grateful she still asks
questions she already
has answers for,
and proud she still asks me.

There's a moment in my life
when her childhood
became her womanhood,
when pony-tails and boys
became college and work
and relationships, when
my arms stopped being
the place she felt safest in,

yet sadness nor regret can
cloud my memory of that change,
for when it happened
I was there,
my lessons and advice,
my care
all part of who she was and is
and what she will become.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

About the Author

Region, Country: Earth Vicinity (within a five light-year radius), ZZC

Favorite Poets: John Donne, T.S. Eliot, Serendipity, Emily Dickenson, Kailashana, Charles Bukowski, Kabir, Rett, Dalton, W. B. Yeats, William Blake, Rainer Maria Rilke, and many other Neopoet poets; Neopoet has heavily influenced my poetry and my ability to write it well.

Comments

Race_9togo

14 years 8 months ago

Thanks Shirl,

for your kind comment.
It is a poem for a stunning, smart and strong young woman, I agree.
Of course, I am hideously BIASED heehee.
Thanks again.

Hooded Stranger

14 years 8 months ago

Jim

Jim,

I have read this through five times and am yet to find fault with it. I am unable to add anything else either...it fits perfectly to me...

...and you have captured a moment there...where the one word that shouts out at me is 'Pride'.

A masterpiece in my opinion...although it lacks a chorus!! Lol!

Race_9togo

14 years 8 months ago

LOL

No chorus: you are prodding me towards songwriting, are you? Heehee I would not know where to begin.
Thank you for reading and enjoying though - yes, it is pride, and love :)

loved

14 years 8 months ago

daughters are

golden jewels

they alone come to ones help

when tsunami strikes

others say

twas best they went to hell

so from a son
more love a daughter
could sell

Race_9togo

14 years 8 months ago

Hi Loved

Yes, I know
but cannot make
that choice of worth
between my sons
and only daughter
and yet
each son
was from
a daughter born
and so
which is
more precious
to us all?
I cannot make that choice.

Race_9togo

14 years 8 months ago

:)

For mine, my wife says constantly how happy she is that our daughter has avoided all the pitfalls of her mother's younger years.

Perfection, lol...WHO'S poem were you reading, again?

Thank you Jayne...but lie down, for gods' sakes, before the next comment I get is from that nurse!

Get well, and get well soon,

Race_9togo

14 years 8 months ago

LOL

She is 17 and no boyfriend yet? A parent's fondest wish! heehee.
And yes, lol...three older brothers would help immensely on that score.
I am glad that you enjoyed this so much, but now you've done it, I won't leave it alone until you write one yourself, lol.

Rest, relax, read and get well, Jayne.

magics02

14 years 8 months ago

I so love your new poetry Jim

I am in awe at your recent postings as I see you have perfected in a great many areas. I so liked this one from a father about his daughter. She is so proud of you I am sure as I am also. Very nice flow of words, content stayed focused and I really liked it.

Bravo Jim

Love Mona

Race_9togo

14 years 8 months ago

Ah, thank you so much Mona,

I am the proud one!