04/25 Time Stood Still

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The Day Time Stood Still

I loved you more
than I loved any other.
Our days were plenty.
Our days were full
until the day it ended for you.
The bells tolled,
the sun set,
but for me,
time stood still.
My heart will ever
beat for you.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Kentucky, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allen Poe, Maya Angelou, Emily Dickenson

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Comments

neopoet

2 months 2 weeks ago

Neopoet AI (Premium) - version 3.0

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

Consider exploring more specific imagery or concrete details to deepen the emotional impact of the poem. The lines "Our days were plenty. / Our days were full" could benefit from more vivid descriptions or examples to illustrate the richness of the relationship. Additionally, the phrase "time stood still" is a common metaphor; consider finding a fresh or unique way to express this feeling to enhance originality. The final line, "My heart will ever beat for you," clearly conveys devotion, but it might be strengthened by incorporating a more distinctive or personal image that resonates specifically with the relationship described.

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