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DAYDREAMERS
Watching the waves come ashore
crashing into the beach as they roar
then retreating with a murmur and hiss
like the breaking of a passionate kiss.
I close my eyes and inhale ocean's brine
off of the steady seaward blowing wind
which entwines me like a soft creeping vine
or the smell of an exotic perfume's blend.
In response to the surf's rumbling bass
white wheeling gulls cry in the clear sky
above tiny plovers mincing daintily by
and pelicans gliding past in a brace.
You and I sitting in the hotel's faded beach chairs
cooled by the wind and an umbrella's shade
listening to music from a jukebox loudly played
from just beyond the boardwalk's promenade.
All of this recalled on a dark winter night
as we sit holding hands in the fire's warming light
while we plan to return if all works out right
and once again watch the waves crash to shore.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Just playing around with differing rhyme patterns seeing if it matches the way memories often come randomly......stan
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Barbara Writes
10 years 4 months ago
Lovely Stan
I think waves crashing into the shore is a wonderous sight.
scribbler
10 years 4 months ago
Hi Barb
Thank you for stopping by and taking time to comment.....stan
raj
10 years 4 months ago
Stan
Good to read and note the rhyme.
Regards,
scribbler
10 years 4 months ago
Hi raj
Always good to see you've come by........stan