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Jul 18, 2022
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Dear brother
You've split blood
To tender your seed
And stained your walls
With the fishy smells of greed,
Now you dance melancholy
To the rhythmic drums of shame
Of the crafty hands
You moulded.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Candlewitch
3 years ago
dear Favour Bariduanen
you have a good start for a poem. I would like to see you flesh it out with some details and history. thank you. welcome to Neopoet!
always, Cat