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Jan 24, 2023
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DEARTH
The solitary sunlight
has plunged into
the arid desert
now severely
lacks vegetation
This drought time
that has pounced
on this plain
shall be the
last straw
that broke
the camel's
back.
©® Onyinyechi Cosmos Etu
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Candlewitch
2 years 5 months ago
dear Jack,
I like your title, it is sparse, like the poem. the flow is god. I'm a fan and advocate of free verse. your language usage is good. your words echo the way I have felt before , so I understand . keep writing. good work.
*hugs, Cat
Jackweb
2 years 5 months ago
I
Will always be appreciative of your precious comments any day any time you stop by.
Many thanks esteemed poetess.
.
Jackweb
2 years 5 months ago
Beautiful!
I also liked your perspective. Indeed, you have a bird's-eye view. Many thanks for this review.
.
Lavender
2 years 5 months ago
Dearth
Hi, Jackweb,
Such a vivid description - I can feel the intensity of the heat, and see the stark lack of vegetation. Witty, yet still a dramatic final line. A very appropriate title.
Lav
Jackweb
2 years 5 months ago
Many thanks!
You have a wonderful comments here. Thanks very much.
.