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Dec 14, 2014
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DECEMBER
All the crops are gathered in,
the barns are filled with hay
the formal thanks have been given
as late autumn finally gives way.
The flocks have formed and headed out
fleeing the cold for warmer lands.
We hear them as they honk and shout
while passing by in shifting bands.
Hardwoods stand naked in the cold.
They shiver in the northern wind,
their former cloaks once bright and bold
have turned into a bland duff's blend.
After eleven months the days grow tired,
letting the nights steal much more time
like an old man long retired
with memories building up like rime.
White now greets most every day
be it frost or mirrored thinning hair
and wildlife ends its autumn play
as mast becomes consumed and rare.
Month's end brings a slower pace,
cold silences which almost ring
while winter shows its cold stern face
and all await the warmth of spring.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Rula
10 years 7 months ago
Hello Stan
An interesting read as usual. However, the ending is lower than your usual standards (imo).
In the last stanza, the word "silences" isn't very smooth, is it?
Just my thoughts.
scribbler
10 years 7 months ago
Hi Rula
I think the silences thing might be a different dialect thing. And I guess I've spoiled you as far as endings lol. But rest assured this will be revisited as all my stuff is and there might be a better ending waiting to be found. I appreciate your thoughts........stan
Rula
10 years 7 months ago
yes,
You are absolutely right!! You are my hero when it is related to closing a poem. :)
Ian.T
10 years 7 months ago
Stan
Your thoughts are good and the presentation is fine as usual.
Soon we are going to have to get together here and talk of what there is to write where our words will become read in future days.
I think that we need a think time that questions what we write and its future, I shall think on these things and maybe start a Blog as to what others think,
This piece as usual is up to your usual writes but are we missing something for the future,
It is late so will talk tomorrow,
Yours Ian
scribbler
10 years 4 months ago
apologies
I have no idea how I missed your comment then rudely didn't reply. Trying to figure out what future readers might want to read would be a real stretch don't you think? but it's one worth considering.....stan
mand
10 years 7 months ago
Hi Stan
I do so love the nature of your poems! Your love of the wilderness shines through I like the way you make a comparison of winter white with the colour of hair in old age. I also like the positive end - and so say all of us!
I don't think I'll ever tire of your nature poems - :) Lovely indeed.
Love to you and Susan xxx ( have a great time over the next two weeks - and get that knee sorted out next year )!
Mand xxxxxx
scribbler
10 years 4 months ago
Hi Mandy
i give you the same apology as I gave Ian. The only way i think i could have missed your comment was to have been awol a while. i DO appreciate your visiting and leaving such supportive comment......stan
raj
10 years 4 months ago
Stan
Tell you what? If you have a poem for each of the months, reading them would be like living each calendar month...who knows these poems can become a lovely script for a Calendar...if that happens..do remember to send me a piece of that Calendar for giving you this idea...:)
Regards,
scribbler
10 years 4 months ago
Hi raj
I had never even considered that idea lol. Let's see, i have this one, one for March, and I think one for October.Oh yes, also one for January and these are the ones I can think of off hand. I'll check through my stuff and see if another one or two are stashed away but your idea is sound and even gives me something to work on when I'm in need of a subject.
I doubt any calendar will ever use the poems but if I manage to do one for each month I'll send you the titles so you can look up the poems. ...........stan
raj
10 years 4 months ago
Stan
I am sure you would be able to have one for each month. May be the entire versions may not fit in a Calendar page but trimmed version would surely make it great...so trimming them would be one more task which too you would be able to do ....
Regards,
scribbler
10 years 4 months ago
I've
Gone through most of my stuff and found poems about all times of the year but I've only found 5 which actually have month names in the titles. So i still need to write poems titled April, June, July, August, September, October and November. Either that or retitle existing poems to cover those months but I really hesitate to Ever retitle a poem........stan
raj
10 years 4 months ago
Stan
We are on March, so you have plenty of time to complete the series. :)
Regards,
lovedly
8 years 1 month ago
I like your watering all your old plants
so many winters and springs
gone by in a glance
and
dancing on your heels
you got knock-need
still to be forever read
is any good poets intense need
why else poetry only breed
ask jess
if you please
is only Loved
a victim of greed
to be read mustn't
he plead
scribbler
8 years 1 month ago
lol
"watering old plants"......i like that. I'm in the process of reviewing all my stuff in preparation for choosing the best 40-50 for a possible book. Hence all these dust bearers coming back on stream.....stan