deception

Yes! I ought to write one more myself...

I thought this poem was marvelously simple, to the point, hence potent. Besides the last line of the first stanza, which looks a little out of place, the rest rolls off well.

It's a neat poem with timeless advice. I like such pieces.

The couplet at the end, the most powerful device of the sonnet, in my opinion, will stay with me a while. It closes off the poem and stands out quite heroically. I absolutely loved this.

You have laboured to produce... and very eloquently! I greatly enjoyed the imagery and simple elegance of the piece. Good rhyming.. flow and structure. I much enjoyed these lines:

but this time storm clouds gather, don't disperse
the ocean howls with rampant rage filled waves
as tridents carry, on the tide, a curse
that ferries unprepared to darker graves

I have no suggestions, just appreciation for the work.

love, Cat

how many tossed nights are these
restless arrival of thoughts beating
on the shores of sand
or the cobble beachs
where there is all noise the fallen
of the breakers

how I miss the oceans the sea
our little Nippy does not do any
of it justic

I remember Mt Rainier on the West
coast tall floating in the violet night
like a dream
the mirage of mass
white capped

will try to come back to you writings more
in the following end of summer and Autumn

one small niggle
and gambol oh so buoyantly just there [just there? weak]

My big, and I mean really big problem with this poem, is the in the misunderstanding of fishermen.

No fisherman, in the open ocean or a small lake never underestimates the power of the medium.

seafarers settle in complacency
fair sails has always been the passage here
and what has been, no doubt will ever be
there's absolutely nothing now to fear

This takes away from the truth of the work. It may have been peaceful for a while but a sudden squall can sink a boat. All workers on the sea know this.

The poem may would have been good and powerful to anyone who had not sailed, fished or surfed.