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Apr 26, 2011
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Delicious!...
Two pair of eyes in the darkness
Four ears to hear the hurt
The beating, thuds and whimpers
From the muzzle in the dirt
A snarling maw, a shadowy form
Two fists of fury hot
Teeth that shred and tear your flesh
Mercy... there is not
Your dog was ever loyal
He don't need this kind of grief
Now we're gonna torture you
When you die, you'll get relief
Killer kicks some ribs and breaks them
The Black... he rends his hand
Oozing blood and gasping breath
Will not let him stand
As death comes to glaze his eyes
Realisation comes too late
What comes around, goes around
He has sealed his fate
Anubis, comes to weigh your heart
It has such heaviness
No feelings for the misery
Killer cuts it from your chest
Cooking smells in the loft up high
Ground-up meat from such a sinner
Late T.V.... sigh of pleasure
This pair enjoying dinner
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Eduardo Cruz
14 years 2 months ago
Gee
the murderest twins.
Wow, I love dark poetry.
You held me in your grip
with no escape
as I read
I screamed for help
But instead
I felt the blade of your sharpened
words.
scary how the gant of a poem
can carry you
straight to the grave
A fantistic piece of writting
Bravo!
Geezer
14 years 2 months ago
I'm glad...
that Killer and [new name pending] dog, have caught your fancy. They will be a fixture at the Chat on the Darkside, when the chats come back up. Hope to see you there. Thanks for the kind comments, ~ Gee
Frederick Kesner
14 years 2 months ago
Gruesome twosome
Have not ventured in blood and gore via poetry before... it's graphic and intense.
A whole new experience. Thanks for sharing.
Geezer
14 years 2 months ago
Glad to have...
new fans. When I started the Killer poems, I never thought that he would be so popular. Hope to see you at the Darkside. Thanks loads, ~ Gee
Nordic cloud
14 years 2 months ago
Dear Sir Geezer
A romp through a poem with a tale,
somehow we know its only a tale
and told with gusto too
by the knight in shining armour,
now using his sword for two;
this was fun to read and well written.
Love from your queenie in the dark.
Ann.
Geezer
14 years 2 months ago
The tale...
of retribution, is always a popular one. People like to see others get what they have coming. I am most pleased to see the Queen is well. Sir Gee and Killer send their best. Love from your knight,
Candlewitch
14 years 2 months ago
Dear Sir Gee and Killer,
Your first few words lured me in and had me transfixed to the page! For a moment I was afraid that the baddies would win. I was especially afraid for the black. you keep writing them and eddy and I will keep on devouring them!
love, Cat
Geezer
14 years 2 months ago
Thank you...
Killer and I will never let the bad guys win! The Black is about to undergo a name change: To Anubis.
He always gets to chew up the competion. I'm so glad that there are fans like you and eddy, we expect to see you on the Darkside chat when we get up and running. See ya there! ~ Gee
Geezer
14 years 2 months ago
Sorry...
to have spoilt your dinner. Killer and the Black, [soon to be Anubis], are cannibals. This way, they get to get rid of the evidence, and have a good meal too! Thanks for the read, and the comments, I expect to see you on the Darkside chat too. ~ Gee
Geezer
14 years 2 months ago
Not many...
people know that term, surprised to hear it from someone these days. Yes, long pig. Heh. Love those Bluebells, I have Morning Glories every year, that climb my fence and the tree. ~ Gee
Geezer
14 years 2 months ago
I am...
sure that you are right in saying that it still occurs, in the deep recesses of society, and that doesn't surprise me at all. Here in the States, we have had Jeffery Dahmer, and I think there are probably others.
Killer does lurk! I don't think he really knows what drives him to eat his victims, other than he really enjoys the taste. There may be a psychological reason, but he hasn't shared with me so far. Don't worry, he only eats bad guys these days. ~ Gee
Pixee
14 years 2 months ago
Into my abyss...
it goes. This is a wonderful and very well written. It hit the nail on the head with the first blow. This is a very strong poem, I know it came from the depths of your being. GREAT WRITE!!! Thank you for posting this. It tells me I ain't alone in this world.
Friends Always,
Pixee
Geezer
14 years 2 months ago
You are never...
alone, as long as you have me and Killer for friends. Heh! Haven't seen you writing lately, get busy! I'm sure that you have a bunch of pent up feelings to get out.
Friends always, ~ Gee
Xavier Sleuth
3 years 11 months ago
Whew-
"Cooking smells in the loft up high
Ground-up meat from such a sinner
Late T.V.... sigh of pleasure
This pair enjoying dinner"
Give me shivers.
Justice has been served.
Geezer
3 years 11 months ago
That's...
as it should be! Thanks, ~ Geez.
.